Cars! Cars! Cars!

When Volvo Was Volvo

Ah, memories. There was a time when Volvos were, dare we say it, cool. Anyway, our buddy Philip finds a restored ES1800 that so reminds us of the current C30 from Volvo. We love the ES1800 just as we love the C30.

Speaking of which, is the C30 even selling? Some, but sales are off 40%. Speaking of sales being off, the S60 is so totally screwed! Sales are off 80%! What really is interesting to us, however, is that sales of the V50 (which we really thought would die off) is the least affected of all Volvos. Maybe folks are opting for the little wagon rather than the S40 & S60 sedans?

Referenced articles
Classic Drives: Our Favorite Volvo Takes to the Road in Palm Springs

For Sale

Ford has a plan to maybe sell Volvo to a Chinese company? Well, maybe they will, but you want to see sales fall faster than what GM has managed to do to Saab? No one will buy a Swedish car from a Chinese company. No one.

We also love that these companies come up with names for these plans, in this case "Project Nile." See, that doesn't really make it move, does it? How about "Project Sell This Beast And Get Hell Out Of This Biz So The Family Can Sell The Rest Of The Company Off Because, Clearly, It's Friggin' Over."

Want another plan? Try to sell it back to Swedlandia. Have them run the companies. Two nationalized car companies? Are we insane? If GM and Chrysler continue to get moolah from the gov what's the real difference?

Oh, another plan name could be Project River. Aw, she'd kick the bad debt to death.

Referenced articles
Detroit News: Team to handle '09 sale of Volvo

Volvo Says Ovlov!

Assuming Ovlov means something along the lines of, "We're so getting sold, dudes. Bork! Bork! Bork!"

In fact we figured this would happen sooner or later (again, we pointed folks to an autoblog post): BMW Wants Volvo, yadda

Referenced articles
autoblog: Ford to make fewer Volvos, possibly in prep for sale

OK, So We're Curious

Summer's coming* and it's time for something new from Saab and this 9-1 could be something. We're big fans of the (currently shipping) Volvo C30 so we're hoping to see some real competition in the small Swedish hatch segment.

Referenced articles:

From autoblog: Saab shows off second 9-1 teaser ahead of Geneva

*Oh, yes!

Which Volvo Is Next Go?

So we're reading the blokes at autoblog who wrote: Sinking Swede? Ford devalues Volvo. First of all, way to hurt Volvo's feelings. Leave it to an airplane dude to be so cold and callous (but, nice hair). Second, eh, we'd devalue them, too.

So, what we're getting at is -- a new Friday game! That's right. This new game is What Vehicle is (manufacturer) Going To Kill Off Next?

Up this week (in alphabetical order): Volvo

Volvo's Lineup (with sales for 2007):

S40: 18,215 -26.3%
S60: 18,521 -28.2%
S80: 12,354 125.%
V50: 2,856 -31.2%
V70: 3,769 -32.7%
XC70: 12,630 -3.9%
XC90: 31,358 -5.7%
C30: 2,103 100%
C70: 4,548 15.4%

So, who is in the running? Well, maybe the S40, S60, V50 and V70. Let's boot out the V70 because it's going to be all new for 2008 (the current V70 was very long in the tooth... but the new V70 gets frakkin' horrible gas mileage... holy cow must Volvo engineers be feeling mighty low at this point). So, we have the S40, S60 and V50. Let's also boot the S60 because Volvo is rumored to be making the XC60, so maybe that means an upgrade for the regular S60 as well.

So now we're down to the wee S40/V50. We recall reading Volvo is interested in a 5-door version of the C30 (which is a horrible mistake), we think the next Volvo to get the axe will be: V50.

Long live the Volvo V50.

Screw the V50. It's cool, but for $36k? Frak that.

Volvo And Dumbness?

Autoblog reports: Volvo C30 wagon confirmed by PR spokesperson. Blah.

We love the C30 as is. And the V50 doesn't need competition (sales are down 31% this year). Perhaps we are witnessing the pre-death of the V50, yes?

Actually, most of Volvo is looking like crappola: S40: down 26%, V70: down 35%, XC90: down 6%. A few models are up, but not enough to get excited about.

Saab Fighting Wrong Sleepytime Battle

Autoblog reports: Wake up! Saab jumping on the drowsy driver bandwagon.

This would have a lot more impact if the Saabs themselves didn't put us to sleep. Oh, wow, a 9-3 wagon! Man, that gets the blood pumpin'. And, look, yawn, a 2001 9-5. Or, yawn, is it a 2007? And is that a 9-7... zzzzzzzzzz.

Now Volvo... the C30 and V50 both get us pretty chubbed up. Come on, peoples, tell us the C30 isn't friggin' awesome. It is.

That's a snap of the 2008 Volvo C30. So friggin' sweet.

Holy Hooterglavens!

Autoblog reports: Volvo C50?: Volvo considering five-door C30.

First of all, no. Second of all, WTF. Finally, great idea! Make a niche car that competes with your other niche car!

Sounds like an infallable plan. The good thing about the C30 and the bad thing about the V50 are the same: the price and we can't see how Volvo is going to distinguish between the two lines enough so that they don't cannabilize the other. Unless that's the plan, of course: kill off the V50.

Volvo, you killing off the V50?

That's a snap of the 2008 Volvo C30 and, yeah, it's awesome. But only as a two-door hatch. Leaving the wagonin' for the V line.

Updated Volvo Is Great, Sucks

AutoWeek reports: Volvo Upgrades XC70 Wagon. With barely a price increase, the updated-for-2008 Volvo XC70 offers more room, more safety and more power.

And horribly shitty fuel economy. Fifteen miles per gallon in the test loop? Holy cow, man. Look, this is a gorgeous car and safe as all get out, but 15 mpg? They gotta be kidding us.

How can Volvo engineers think this is acceptable? Have they sold their souls as well as their company to FoMoCo?

Volvo: Hells No!

Bloomberg reports: Volvo AB Says Not Interested in Ford's Volvo Car Unit. The AB stands for "Ain't no B'way we're buying back that turd." OK, what they really said was

"We are of course very concerned and interested in what happens with Volvo cars, but not such that we would be an investor there," Johansson said today in an interview in Brussels.

In other words, "Of course we loves you baby, but I gotta go outta town for a couple of weeks. We'll call when we're back."