Cars! Cars! Cars!

TL Hurts Acura

Everyone knows it's ugly. Everyone. Every. Single. Person. Knows. It's. Ugly. Check out this made-up overheard on the street:

Cars! Cars! Cars! representative: Hi, do you know...
Dude on street: The TL is ugly.
CCC: Really? What else?
Dude: And it will hurt sales.
CCC: Is this a secret?
Dude: No, everyone knows it.

See? There you have it. So far this year, TL sales are off about 35% and this updated beast ain't a-gonna help. We'll check in with TL sales in six months to see how it's doing, but it'll be worse.

Referenced articles
NY Times: Pace. Space. But Oh, That Face.

Taxpayer's Hand Tastes Mighty Fine

Hey, this is funny stuff: Take money from party A and use it to sue party A. Go, free market!

Referenced articles
MSN Money: GM, Chrysler suing taxpayers with taxpayer money

We realized the linked article is not a news story, but it was still funny anyway. And, besides, we can link to anything we want. See?

Free Advice: You Get What You Pay For

So, Frank Rhodes, the grandson of ol' Walt (that Walt would be Walter P. Chrysler) offered a little advice to Chrysler bigwig Bob Nardelli. The advice goes like this (among other bits):

• Develop an inexpensive "people’s car" with "no fancy radio, no air, no frills and EASY to service."

No fancy radio? No air? No frills? Hmm, that adds up to... carry the zero... no sales! Spectacular advice!

He ended the advice with this, "This is a sad period for American history, one of which should be and will be won. I am on your side. Make it work - failure is not an option."

Look, we're comfortable being the one car blog that rarely updates and even rarerly makes any sense, but what in the world do those sentences mean? What should be won? The sad period? Can you win a sad period of American history? He's on whose side? Cerberus (that's where the letter was sent)? Cerberus is a holding company. The plan was always to sell Chrysler. Failure is not an option? Really? It's not only an option, it's likely.

In order to avoid failure, here's some helpful advice for Chrysler:

• When you buy a new Chrysler, a cake is delivered to your house and Summer Glau jumps out and kicks the crap out of you. She yells about the men in blue, how it's "not part of the mission" and just keeps beating you with weak windsheild wipers. And frosting. Lots of frosting.

Pardon us while we go buy a... What's Chrysler even selling these day?

Referenced article
eGMCarTech: Chrysler’s great-grandson writes letter to Cerberus, gives advice

The Race of Champions

Finally, a fun car story. We'd so love to be a part of this, but alas we have no:

1. Junker
2. $500 to fix junker up
3. Summer Glau

Anyway, thanks Mr. Alterman. That was a good read.

Referenced Article
NY Times: When Life Hands You Lemons, Race Them

Cars Are Better In Summer

Not only have I starred in several TV shows and one kick-ass movie, I've now bought a popular car blog (and with it, a devoted writer group!).

So, starting tomorrow, we'll redirect the traffic from this site over to my main site. The issue initially was "Will people who are looking for car information want information on me, Summer Glau?" After looking in the mirror, I decided yes. I'm so shiny! Not only that, but if they were looking for car information, they were so very disappointed. Unless there were links to pics of me, then they might have been somewhat happy.

Anyway, I like dancing, sci-fi and fans devoted solely to me. The new site will require pop-ups, registration and an HTML-only newsletter. Once we collect your IP address, we'll sign you up automatically. If any of this causes you trouble, remember: I can kill you with my brain.

Sweetly,
RiverSummer

Off To Auto Show

We're off to the NY Auto Show dealie. Will we have any new insights? Will it be Summer soon? Will we be wearing pants? (Hint: Two answers are "no" and one is, sadly, "yes.")

Until we offer up our pearls of wisdom, feel free to read over our previous NY Auto Show thoughts.

Cars! Cars! Cars! Parking Lot

When a writer begins to stray from the topic:
Today on Mother Proof: 2008 Audi A8 Reviewed. Hey, we're not throwing stones, we do it, too, but we expected more from Mother Proof. If you are dropping this kind of coin on a car, the kids ride with the nanny.

Aw, hell, damn, fart! Next-Gen Acura RL to get a V8 and RWD-biased SH-AWD. Is nothing sacred anymore? What made Acura special is that they didn't fall into the whole V8 movement. And it could have proved pretty dang smart as fuel begins its creep up to $5 by June '09. And this thing'll probably need premium. How the hell you gonna swing your double freakin' mocha latte?

Frakkin' yay! Lincoln likely to kill LT truck. Now to get Cadillac to drop the horrific EXT and we'll be on to something (sales are down 35% anyway... just drop it!)

Oh, as if this wasn't predicted a couple of years ago! (Ha! Get it? We called this sukka years ago when sales were even better than a paltry 2.25 a week or whatever the hell it is) Daimler Mulls Closing the Doors on Maybach. Why did the Maybach fail? Because it was brought over as a first-class passenger on the Queen Elizabeth II? No, despite the grand entrance, the car has no presence. So much so that decent design (again, no presence but a decent design) and moved it to Mercedes' S-Class. Boom! Maybach without the cos... Hell, S-Class is more than we can swing unless we get into Summer. Summer has presence.

Sunday Morning Revenue Drop

Protecting the public our arse! It's more like protecting the city's moolah intake.

That's right, Dallas is considering killing its "red light" camera program because it's not generating enough money. So these cameras aren't put into place to protect us and stop folks from running red lights. It's to force folks to pay when they run through the red lights -- the stopping of such behavior isn't important.

Actually, it's very important because the cameras have stopped folks from running red lights so the city can't afford the cameras. Tasty quote:

"The golden question is how many cameras do we need? We'll have to look at the numbers carefully," [Mayor Pro Tem] Dr. Garcia said. "But for me, this has always been about safety, has always been about awareness. We did not do this for the money."

Oh, it's about safety after all. Whew!

You know, it's not like we're totally unsympathetic to Dallas. Check out how much the cameras cost to maintain. Plus they have them cheerleaders!

Referenced articles:

Fark: Dallas' red light cameras may face changes as revenue estimate drops

Thanks to Engadget and Fark for the link. These guys are connected together like they're part of some web or sumthin!

Goin' Swimming!

Hey, everyone, plan yer vacations now. The mandatory one. That's right, two weeks off this summer!

And don't go spiffyin' up yer resumes!

Referenced articles:

CNNMoney.com: Chrysler takes vacation in July

Et Tu, Biodiesel?

Nice work, Sphinc. Weren't biodiesels supposed to be better for the Earth and its inhabitants? Weren't we supposed to move away from the dependency on foreign oil?

Answer: Duh, no.

Referenced articles:

The New York Times: Pollution Is Called a Byproduct of a 'Clean' Fuel