Cars! Cars! Cars!

Can't Be Real

There is no way that DeLorean Motor Company is considering building a car based on the Pontiac Solstice.

That car helped kill Pontiac and Saturn. No, it did not single car-ily kill both companies, but it was a great example of why both companies failed.

Why DeLorean would want any part of this… Feels like a lot of car companies are just grasping at anything.

Referenced articles
Autoblog: Rumormill: DeLorean Motor Company considering rescuing Pontiac Solstice?

Who knew we needed a DeLorean category?

No More Pies

Everyone knew Pontiac was over and that Saturn was likely to go away, but holy shit, GM is canning Saturn this year? 2009 is the last model year for Saturn.

We suppose we shouldn't be taking it this hard because no one is buying any Ions. Or Vues. Or the other one thing. Car?

In related news, Pontiac is also over. This doesn't come as any surprise at all. To anyone. Except the sphinc who just bought a G6 coupe. "Look at my bitchin' ride, yo!" (moments pass) "Doeth!"

In more related news, everyone is fired and somehow the American taxpayers will own a majority in GM. Let's quote sphinc up there... "Doeth!"

Referenced articles
CNNMoney.com: GM goes for broke

Bloomberg News: GM Steps Up Job Cuts, Offers Shares to Bondholders <--There's lots of "news" in this article, but the "fact" that "jumped" out at "us" was: The goal is to phase out Saturn in 2009, instead of 2011 as previously discussed.

More To Come?

We all know GM is about to (ed note: pick one before publication*):

1. Throw HUMMER on fire
2. Flush the toilet on HUMMER
3. Force HUMMER to walk the Purple Valley
4. Shitcan HUMMER because, after all, jaysus!

But in recent news could it be that GM is also considering axing another brand? Or brands?

We got an exclusively made-up interview with GM spokesman Tony Cervone who replied, "We are absolutely not considering canning Pontiac and Buick. Or, man, Saab. Did you see those Saab numbers? Kkkkkeeerist! And just because I dropped a bucket of pink slips a minute ago means nothing." A follow-up question yielded no movement on getting us Alison Krauss's phone number. GM's PR department is so letting us down.

Referenced articles

Automotive News (you need a subscription despite information wanting to be free): GM denies any more brands under review.
autoblog: By the numbers (June 2008 edition)

*"Publication" Ha!

Name That Loser!

Yeah, so it's 100% true. Pontiac introduced the G8 truck! Yeah, a truck. But with the front of a G8. How awesome is that?

The world has been yearning for a car truck since the dawn of time. And even though Subaru sold one recently and discontinued it because of very, very poor sales, Pontiac thinks you'll want one. Only bigger. That uses more fuel.

Bigger AND uses more fuel. That's what Pontiac thinks.

But what's it's name? Well, Pontiac doesn't know. But they know you want one! And they know you want to name it.

So, go to Tame the Name and enter your idea there. That's right, be a naming ninja! <--Honestly, their words!

Come on! How long before this turkey is canned?

Hawt!

Leftlane News reports: GM plans Pontiac Solstice Targa.

Now this would make up for GM killing off the Nomad, which, granted, isn't the same kind of car, but both are sweet lookin'. Like Alison.

Pontiac: We Import Excitement

Jalopnik reports: First Pontiac G8 Rolls Off Holden Assembly Line. Not for nothing, but are folks lining up for Pontiacs nowadays? The kids sure ain't-a talking about 'em (even the Solstice isn't being talked about much).

So, GM and Holden take another swing in Pontiac stadium to see if they can do better than the previous questionable foul ball.

Think Holden has what Americans want?

GM: Global Warming Sooo 2006. Bring On The V8s

Oh we know, we're the grinch of automotive fun. We're the Mr. Grimm's of the automotive world. Hello? It's getting worse and making more V8s ain't the answer.

Especially as a zzzzzzzzz Pontiac. CNN reports: GM unveils new 4-door Pontiac G8. Oh, a Pontiac! All the kids are talking about Pontiac. "Oh, man, I want a Pontiac. They're sooo... cool." "Well, actually," says one boy looking at the GM My Space ad thing, "The Solstice is pretty damned sweet. Don't you think?" "Uh, the what?" says Mr. Grimm from Cars! Cars! Cars! "Do you even know anything about cars?" asks the boy. "First of all, we're older than you so respect your decrepit elders. Second, the Solstice has a 4 cylinder engine and even cooler souped up dealie is still a four cylinder and we're only picking on the V8. Third, for the love of God, don't respond to the GM My Space thing!"

For the record, one doesn't need to know anything about anything to do anything. It's been proven.

Put Another Car On The Barby

Autoblog reports: It's official! Pontiac to get RWD platform, likely in G8. Yay, another car from the land of the convicts! The GTO went over like crap, why would the G8 do better? And it's not like the G6 is getting praise upon praise so we're wondering what's what.

Out Of The Ashes The Nomad Rises

Winding Road reports: EDAG Now Taking Orders For Solstice Sportwagon Hardtop Conversion Kit. Yay! This looks pretty danged bitchin', although it fails our test of being able to carry anything other than a bagel.

What do you think, should GM bring back the coupe wagon?

That's a snap of the Nomad concept from a few years back. We're sorta kinda obsessed with it.

GM: More RWD For You!

Autoblog reports: Rumor Mill: Next gen Pontiac G6 will be RWD. There's also talk the next Impala will also be RWD. Uh, that's rear-wheel drive for you non car nerds. With the development of technologies that can offset the deficiencies of RWD (it's often lighter in the back of a car so the car wants to slip and slide around under some condition), it makes sense to move the drive wheels back to where "God intended them to be." Actually, we're not in that camp of cars must be RWD.

Sporting drivers (the smackheads who think they are good drivers) insist that cars be RWD because it offers better whatever and whatever. We have friends who think that's total hogwash, so we haven't found someone to convince us that one is better over the other for the general folk.

We pray this means the end of the Monte Carlo. Kill it, kill it, kill it!