Cars! Cars! Cars!

What? Me Worry?

leftlanenews reports: Jaguar management "entirely relaxed" about sale of company.

Entirely relaxed? Totally? Does this happen that often that these folks can be entirely relaxed? Or, maybe, should they stress a little? If the division was kicking ass maybe it wouldn't be up for sale? Was that even a question?

How about a little more kick ass Jaguar action and little less entirely relaxtionageness? "Oh, the S-type? It's Jagy enough," said an entirely relaxed Jaguar employee that we just made up.

Come on!

GM Number One!

And, now, Toyota is number two. Autoblog reports: By the Numbers: 2007.

So, let's see here. Add up the BMW with the Ford, carry the, hey, where's the VW dealie? Anyway, we're looking at roughly: 14,092,314 vehicles sold. That's more than we'da guessed... But we're willing to make another stupid prediction.

Thanks to the housing market collapse, we bet we see no more than 13,500,000 sold in 2008. Too many mortgages are coming due and too many people are going to be booted out of their homes. And if the recession gets into full swing (it will), there'll be no money for a roof, let alone a ride.

Jaguar only sold 15,683 cars in '07? We're surprised they sold that many based on the models they have for sale. We know they are coming out with a new model called... the... what was it? Oh, right, the Who Cares. Good luck, Jaguar.

Tata!

This is 100% awesome news! The Detroit News reports: Ford picks Tata as top bidder for Jaguar, Land Rover. Check it:

In an announcement today, Ford Motor Company announced an announcement of sweaterific proportions. "The hills and valleys of the automotive marketplace have made it deliciously obvious that we, Ford Motor Company, have to move ahead, past second base if you will.

And it was as if the future was knocking at our doors when solicited for offers for some of our most prized possessions.

So we are announcing that Tata is the preferred bidder for Land Rover and Jaguar."

Excuse us while we go have cupcakes and milk now.

We were this close to using that Ween album cover. So close!

Yay!

Oh, man, it's all coming up daises today. Kicking Tires reports: Jaguar Pulls the Plug on X-Type. This is so awesome, it deserves an "h" -- hawesome!

New rule to luxury automakers: No cheap cars.

What If A Company Is For Sale And No One Buys It?

The Detroit News reports: Ford gives luxury bids more time. Here's the background: Ford is hurtin' so it's selling some of it's fancy brands. In this case: Jaguar and Land Rover. Ford gave prospective owners unti the end of September, but now have given them even more time. Why is that?

No reason was given, but the source said bidders assume the move is designed to give them more time to secure financing in today's tight credit markets.

We wonder, however, if bids are going to be hard to come by. What if folks don't want the problems of Jaguar and Land Rover?

What happens then?

Ford already sold Aston Martin. Just so you are up on everything.

Just Make It All Go Away!

The New York Times reports: Ford Says It Wants a Total Sale of Jaguar and Land Rover. Ha!

The head of the Ford Motor Company’s European operations, Lewis Booth, said Wednesday that it was too soon to say if Ford would keep a stake in its Jaguar and Land Rover units but that a full sale is what the cash-hungry automaker wants.

"We’re selling the business because we need the money and we need the focus," Mr. Booth, executive vice president for Ford’s European units, said during a Webcast from the Frankfurt auto show.

We need the money. And LR and Jag won't be making any, so we want nothing to do with them. Nooooothing!

We knew Ford will sell everything. And soon it won't be long before they need more cash and out goes Volvo. Poor Volvo. We're so sorry you got stuck with V-8s.

Saturn: That's Right, We Rock!

Autoblog reports: By the Numbers: February 2007. Thanks to pure ass-kicking, we're having a hard time seeing Toyota passing GM in sales for 2007 and 2008. Unless we're missing something. For example, if GM picks up the "How to sell cars" handbook by Jaguar then, sure, we could see Toyota running GM over...

And look at what happens when you shitcan an entire line of crap cars and replace 'em with stuff people want? OK, it's just one car, but it's having a big ol' impact. Go Saturn!

Meanwhile, poor Jaguar. We're guessing Jaguar is closer to don-fer than not.

Cars! Cars! Cars! Parking Lot

We meant to link this in a million years ago, but there's some purty pictures over at wallpapergarage.com. If you want a desktop pic for your computer (and, you know, of a car), this is the place to start.

Old, irrelevant brands are the best! Well, the dealers of those brands. The Detroit News reports: Car owners give Jaguar, Lincoln top spots in dealer satisfaction.

Yay, the pickups are early! And gas prices are down! Detroit Free Press reports: GM plant celebrates early rollout of full-sized pickups. We don't consider it a celebration unless Alison Krauss is there, however.

Who Sucks and Who Sucks Less?

Sheesh, that's a negative headline. The Detroit News reports: Ford, GM gain with redesigns.

Yay! We're fans of the Ford Fusion and are glad to see it get some respectable press. We are not fans, however, of Ford's treatment of its vehicles and are greatly concerned that in two years Consumer Reports will be all like, "Why is Ford still squatting out the Fusion?" Ford, we beg you, beeeeehg you to put more energy into the Fusion to ensure it remains a non-embarrassment.

Meanwhile, check out the sidebars on that article to see who is the least reliable. Holy crap, Jaguar blows. And Mercedes-Benz? M-B is on that list so often it should be its own category, "What Brand Not To Buy." Holy crap does M-B blow. M-B blows so badly that it makes Jaguar look like the king of reliability.

That's a snap of the 2006 Ford Fusion. Go Ford!

Ford To Sell Jaguar?

Gotta assume this is happening: Ford ponders Jaguar's future.

What a mistake Ford made with Jaguar. You can look to the X-Type as to what started it all.