Cars! Cars! Cars!

Oil: No Cheap For You!

The Detroit News reports: What's fueling gas prices? What's fueling it? Greed. Duh. Uh, that nearly $40 billion in profit has to come from somewhere.

Q : Wouldn't prices be lower if the oil companies weren't making record profits?

A : Yes, oil companies make a lot of money, and some of it's coming from motorists' pockets. For 2006, Exxon Mobil recorded a $39.5 billion profit -- the largest ever by an American corporation. Much of the profits that oil companies like Exxon and Shell make are from the sale of crude oil.

We wish we sold gasoline. Then we could totally buy Alison Krauss instead of wooing her on a site that she doesn't read.

Oil Companies Win!

Thanks to the world's smartest consumers, oil companies began using $100 bills to heat their pools after seeing the latest sales figures. Detroit Free Press reports: Lower gas prices spur rebound in truck sales. Oil execs were heard to say:

Of course oil prices will remain low until they're not. Also, according to our automotive accountants, it makes most sense to keep your F-250s and Silverados running 24/7. In case you need them. In case of a terror attack, you can be assured that you won't have to waste any time starting your truck and be able to get away. Oh, darlin', I dropped a $1,000. Oh, forget it.

The timing of lowered gas prices sure is questionable since Detroit was in the toilet and really needed something to spur on sales and, of course, the election.

Think gas prices and election time are related?

Everyone Is Stupid

Kicking Tires reports: As Gas Prices Drop, Interest in SUVs Returns. Hello? Hello?! What are you people doing? You can't honestly believe that gas prices are going to stay low, do you? Holy cow, that's the wrong answer! Wake up!

Now, we'll admit the Avalanche is OK for some people. And, heck, the Santa Fe is only used as a station wagon... and the Wrangler is fun. Man, what are we bitching about? Toyota should be pretty upset by the looks of the "decreasing" list, though. Alison. Ah, there. Now we feel better. But gas prices are going to go back up. Don't say we didn't warn you.

Stoopid Rulz

So U.S. President George Bush says we are addicted to oil and we have to stop 'cause it's all bad and stuff. So what happens? The major incentive to buy a vehicle that uses very little fuel is about to go away. Autoblog reports: Toyota hybrids hit the magic number.

The company is expected to announce the sale of its 60,000th hybrid vehicle, coincidentally the same number at which tax incentives to buy such vehicles is reduced or disappears.

Ruined by its own success. We wonder if Detroit had been making these dealies if this woulda happened. Or if when Detroit starts making hybrids this incentive is expanded to keep hybrids rolling along. We suppose, if people object to a government hand-out like an incentive, there could be a new gas-guzzler tax for any car that doesn't get 35 MPG on the highway. That'd work for us.

For the record, that's a Toyota Prius in the background. That's our story, anyway.

Free Fords!

Detroit is like Hollywood anymore: no new ideas. What one company does, the other follows. It's a stupid cycle and it's get us nowhere. Fast.

We mentioned GM was paying for some gas and now Ford has done the same thing that GM did back in Oct. 2005 -- free gas.

The Detroit News reports: Ford deal: 0% loans, free gas. Sure seems like the Road Ahead is really just an envelope with cash in it. Which we like. Every car should have envelopes with cash in the glove box. Make sure to check out the chart with the Expedition: over $13k in savings! Sweet Mercy. Ford had to make a big deal about this Road Ahead campaign when all it entailed was rebates and stuff? Zzzzz....

Meanwhile, The Detroit News reports: GM takes flack for cheap gas incentive. This article is too much fun not to quote it a bunch:

While GM has stepped up its promotion of alternative fuels, critics say the new gas program is a cynical attempt to keep selling gas hogs without regard to the environment and America's dependence on foreign oils.

"It says a lot about GM and their dire financial straits that they are so desperate to sell the gas guzzlers that no one wants, that they are paying for the gas to drive them home," said Dan Becker, director of the Sierra Club's Global Warming Program. "When did you ever hear about a junkie giving up his subsidized fix?"

Influential New York Times columnist Tom Friedman -- author of the best-selling book "The World is Flat" -- took on GM in a sharply worded column Wednesday.

"Is there a company more dangerous to America's future than General Motors? Surely, the sooner this company gets taken over by Toyota, the better this country will be," Friedman wrote, comparing GM to "a crack dealer looking to keep his addicts on a tight leash" by offering the fuel program.

GM Vice Chairman Bob Lutz, who oversees the automaker's product development, said in an e-mail that Friedman "is so 'over the top' that it borders on psychosis."

Lutz said his hope "is that the majority of Americans, not being extreme liberals, and harboring a deep-seated distrust toward the media, will see his piece for what it is: the product of an unusual, but not altogether well, mind."

Ha! How soon before there's a fight on TV? Speaking of Jell-o wrestling with Alison, we're totally down with that.

Gas, Jill, Wall Street

Gas Is Spendy
Yeah, we all know gas is currently floating around the $3/gallon range and it's harder than hell filling up the Tahoe or F-150. CNN/Money reports: Consumer Reports: Gas prices having big impact. Over 1/3 of the people Consumer Reports contacted said that they plan on getting a more fuel efficient car. What we found even more interesting:

Most Americans, about seventy percent, according to the survey, do not think $3.00 a gallon is "too expensive" for gasoline. In other words, $3.00 a gallon for gasoline would not cause them to take serious measures to curtail their usage. About half think $4.00 a gallon would be "too expensive."

Wow. That sure sends a signal to Exxon Mobil that $3 is just fine, so don't bother lowering the prices. We wonder when $4/gallon won't be a major problem. Summer '07?

Jill For President!
Man, what's up with Jill Lajdziak kicking ass all over Saturn? What's up with Jill Lajdziak kicking ass all over her dealer network? What's up with Jill Lajdziak giving our tush a pinch during the Aura unveiling? It was totally uncalled for. OK, we asked her to. And we had to sit on her hand to make it happen. Call us, Jilly!

First, Autoblog reports: Saturn announces pricing for 2007 Vue Green Line hybrid. $23k for a Saturn Vue hybrid SUV? Now we're talking green. Let's assume for a minute that the Vue is even in the running (it's really only OK when compared to competition), add in the hybrid component and the Vue has an open road. Kudos to GM (it was Jill) on keeping the price from hitting the stratosphere. Next, Jill comes down on her dealers: Edmunds reports: Saturn dealers won't be allowed to add ADMs to the Sky. No price gouging! Now this is how to win and keep customers. What's Jill have to do next? Well, get more Skys made. Mr. Lutz keeps going on and on about the manufacturing plant has more capacity, so Jill needs to pin him down to make another 5,000 Skys for 2007. Then Jill needs to boot the Ion and personally approve of the next model. If it's that Opel we saw, we're cool with that. But we sure want to see/read/hear Jill say, "I've personally approved even detail in the upcoming new Saturn. I take full responsibility on the quality of this car. It will be the best small Saturn we've ever made. And if it's not, I will resign."

False Hope
The Detroit News reports: Outlook: GM rises, Ford falls. This isn't us crapping on GM for no good reason. Really we're crapping on Wall Street here since... well, ever since they booted us out for walking on the trading floor yelling, "Enron's full of shit!" Poor Wall Street dudes. Enron imploded and took away their dreams of stealing from everyone. Wall Street was so bummed they had to go get some law passed to make it OK to hide money.

Anyway, in The Detroit News piece, Wall Street is bullish on GM because people are buying up them thar new big SUVs. And GM's got some new, big pick-ups coming. And? Lots of people are already looking to get a smaller vehicle. And the Japanese manufacturers are banking on it with the Fit, Versa and Yaris. What's interesting is that Ford is making the same big crap and its stock drops. We know that it has a bit more to do with the what vehicles are coming out, but we just found it interesting.