Cars! Cars! Cars!

Recall!

No, not good 'ol GD, just some Fords. One million? No, keep going. Two? Nope. Three. Think mo. Mo mo mo. Four?! Oh, stop, we'll answer for you.

4,500,000

All the way back to when Clinton was in office! Sweet mercy that's a lot of Fords. There's a good chance the tech that'll repair your car was 8 years old at the time some of these beasts were made.

Referenced articles
CNNMoney.com: Ford recall hits 4.5 million vehicles

A New Ford

The new Ford's here! The new Ford's here! And is he more qualified than ever or what?

Anybody who can keep junior high school kids not only in their seats but focused on a lesson plan can deal with any supplier issue, boardroom dispute or labor-contract negotiations he's ever likely to encounter.

Yeah, that's for su... What? This has been the secret all along? Not years in the industry but a couple of years teaching readin', writin' and 'rithmetic? Jesus.

Look out Mulally, Krabappel is comin' fer ya!

Referenced articles
autoweek.com: Henry III, Act I: Henry Ford's great-great grandson will soon enter the stage

Yes, technically Krabappel is Edna Krabappel. A female teacher. But we couldn't think of a dude teacher and, hell, Krabappel is a fun name! W00t!

For Sale

Ford has a plan to maybe sell Volvo to a Chinese company? Well, maybe they will, but you want to see sales fall faster than what GM has managed to do to Saab? No one will buy a Swedish car from a Chinese company. No one.

We also love that these companies come up with names for these plans, in this case "Project Nile." See, that doesn't really make it move, does it? How about "Project Sell This Beast And Get Hell Out Of This Biz So The Family Can Sell The Rest Of The Company Off Because, Clearly, It's Friggin' Over."

Want another plan? Try to sell it back to Swedlandia. Have them run the companies. Two nationalized car companies? Are we insane? If GM and Chrysler continue to get moolah from the gov what's the real difference?

Oh, another plan name could be Project River. Aw, she'd kick the bad debt to death.

Referenced articles
Detroit News: Team to handle '09 sale of Volvo

Ford: Keep Your Loans, Biotch!

Man, harsh made-up words from Ford! Tellin' the new gov'ment to keep their stinkin' loans 'cause we got it all going on. That's not only all made up, it's an abbreviated retelling the story that we just made up.

Anyway, go, Ford! Also, did you take a look at the upcoming Ford Taurus? Holy mackel! Is Ford back in the business of making cars again? If so, it's about time!

Referenced articles
Yahoo! news: Ford does not need government loans: CEO

No Bailout

There should be no bailout for automakers. Before we get too far into this, our love affair is with cars*, not the makers. Their short-sighted motives for high-profit (and low fuel economy) vehicles have created a mess that they themselves are responsible for and we see no reason to foot the bill.

For years Detroit shrugged off suggestions that fuel economy rules were unfair and so they put no serious money into research and development of newer technologies that would help with fuel economy. This sounds so familiar... Oh, safety!

And understand this: It will not turn out to be a loan.

What should happen:

• The government should say no and tell them to get their loans elsewhere.

What will probably happen:

• Congress will pony up the loans
  
• CEOs will not be canned (they should be)
  
• Unions will take a larger portion of the blame than they should
  
• China will come in with big investments to one of the Detroit Three

It's funny that once this depression (it will be labeled a depression before long) subsides, unions will have been fully busted (as a relic of the past and as part of the problem) but folks will need them more than ever before.

No one could have predicted these horrible sales were going to happen.

Referenced articles
NY Times: Frank Sees ‘Disaster’ if Auto Industry Fails

McClatchy DC: No commitment on auto bailout despite union concessions

Huffington Post: Big Three Promise Green Future But Spent Almost $50 Million Since 2007 Lobbying Against It

*And Claire, Alison and Summer. Oh, Summer, have mercy our on catalytic converter!

Nomondeo

So, big announcements from Ford today. Which of these is worse?

1. Ford posts $8.7 billion loss. For the quarter. 90-some days. That's about $100 million a day. About $4 million an hour. About $67,000 a minute.
   
2. Despite losses, Ford will not be bringing the beautiful Mondeo over from Europe.

Of course it's number 2. Look, let's say the Mondeo is a tremendous failure once it's for sale in the U.S. How would you be able to tell? Bring it!

Referenced article

Jalopnik: BREAKING! Ford Reports $8.7 Billion Net Loss For Second Quarter 2008, Bringing Six European Small Vehicles Stateside

Volvo Says Ovlov!

Assuming Ovlov means something along the lines of, "We're so getting sold, dudes. Bork! Bork! Bork!"

In fact we figured this would happen sooner or later (again, we pointed folks to an autoblog post): BMW Wants Volvo, yadda

Referenced articles
autoblog: Ford to make fewer Volvos, possibly in prep for sale

Ford: Where Leaving A Faulty Switch In Production And Letting It Burn Up Your Home Is Job #1

Ford should be ashamed. And sued.

This faulty switch stuff has been going on for (roughly) nine years now and it's still not solved.

The [National Highway Traffic Safety Administration] says it can connect 65 fires to switch failures, but the problem could be far greater: the agency received 1,472 complaints or allegations of engine compartment fires related to the switches before the investigation was closed in August 2006. Because investigators were often unable to contact owners, not enough data could be collected to make a final determination on many complaints. The agency also received 60 more fire complaints since the inquiry ended.

The agency has not linked switch failures to any deaths, but at least three wrongful death suits have been filed against Ford.

Not sure how Ford folks are sleeping at night knowing 1)they used the switch for over three years and 2)there are thousands of them still out there.

Shame on Ford.

Referenced article

New York Times: Huge Recall, but Many Cars Unfixed.

Unreferenced, but still rockin'

Cars! Cars! Cars!: Switches
Cars! Cars! Cars!: More Ford Recalls?

Hate Wins!

Hate has prevailed over Ford. After calling on a boycott because Ford advertises in gay media.

Why would the AFA want gay folk to buy anything other than American products? Oh, because the AFA is a hate group.

Anyway, the AFA has decided it has defeated Ford so its boycott is ending. We bet the real reason is that the AFA wants to get in on some good Ford deals rigth about now. Pssst: Buy a Fusion.

Referenced articles:

Americablog.com: Religious right drops Ford boycott, claiming victory 2 years after they lost

Five For Ford

Martin Schwoerer of The Truth About Cars writes up the 2008 Ford Mondeo Ghia Review.

Whoa! Five stars, baby!

For me, a handsome car needs three basic characteristics: strength, cleanliness and character. The Mondeo nails all three. The four-door Ford's long wheelbase (much longer than, for example, the Passat) accentuates its wide, muscular stance. Its sleek headlamps and taut taillights render it instantly recognizable; the detailing is flawless. It's just what America needs: a non-bland, better-proportioned, more modern Taurus.

Yay! He goes on:

Using the standard light-action six-speed manual, I never ran out of gears. No matter how hard I thrashed the powerplant, I never saw less than 29 mpg. At a more sedate pace, I averaged 35 mpg.

Double yay! Oh, Ford, bring the Mondeo over here. It's what we need. It's what Summer needs.