Cars! Cars! Cars!

SSDD

Man, talk about talking it across the face! The economy is going down the toilet (free market, ha!), salaries are falling (or, at the very least, not keeping up with inflation) and now management is back at the bargaining table.

GM has managed to convince UAW to work for less -- a whoppin' $14 an hour. The only folks who are going to complain that these "unskilled workers" are still over paid are old, white dudes, so don't pay them any mind.

Meanwhile, in the other camp, we see that some management is doing exceedingly well. It's so fucking nice to the king.

Referenced articles:

autoblog: That was easy: UAW and GM agree on lower wages after six months of bargaining.

autoblog: Mullaly and other Ford execs made many millions in 2007.

Yes, we're well aware that one company is GM and the other is Ford, but it's not like compensation at GM is anything to sniff at. And Ford is going to use GM's deal as a reason to push hard against workers who are building Fords. Anyway, we found the contrast to be interesting.

Taking Your Ghosn And Going Ghome

The Detroit News reports: P'I'm not talking to anybody'. We didn't this was going to go anywhere. If there is ever a merger it will be Detroit on Detroit, not an outside company. We're aware that the DaimlerChrysler merger of equals sorta shoots down that idea but, hey, that happened before we started spouting our lies truths.

"We're not going to try anything because we don't think the time is right," [Renault-Nissan CEO Carlos] Ghosn said after a speech to the Detroit Economic Club. "I'm not talking to anybody."

It's smart to just chill because pressing every manufacturer just makes you look desperate. Can you imagine trying to woo someone (or someone else) who was never, ever going to respond? How pathetic! Uh, anyway:

He said that Nissan is studying how to add capacity to its North American manufacturing operations. "With all the products we're bringing to the U.S. market, we know our (sales) forecast is much bigger than our capacity," he said.

One option, Ghosn said, was possibly using factories slated for closure by GM and Ford. Both companies are downsizing their U.S. assembly plants to match their shrinking market shares.

"If there was some capacity available that can be used as a 'win-win' situation," he said, "we'll do it."

Win-win? How in the world is Detroit going to see Nissan taking away their market share and then taking over their manufacturing plants as a win? "Oh, look, the dude who kicked our arse and took our lunch money is coming back to take our lunch box, too.

Partners! Partners! Partners!

The Detroit News reports: Ford focus is on fixes, lukewarm to alliance.

Carlos Ghosn, CEO of Renault SA and Nissan Motor Co., is interested in discussing a possible alliance with Ford Motor Co. now that his talks with General Motors Corp. have unraveled, but with a new CEO at Ford's helm, he may have missed his chance.

(door knocking at Ford CEO Alan Mulally's home)
Alan Mulally: Who's there?
Renault/Nissan Dude Carlos Ghosn: It's me, Renault/Nissan Dude Carlos Ghosn.
AM: It's 2:30 in the morning.
CG: Let's make a deal. You and me, oui?
AM: Do I smell olive oil?
CG: It was free.
AM: Oh. Hang on. I've got an idea. Please sit on the bench there.
(Faint noise inside. Sounds of talking.)
(15 minutes pass by)

Former Ford CEO Bill Ford pulls up in a 2005 Ford Taurus.
Bill Ford: Carlos! Alan said you wanted to deal. I'm ready.
Carlos Ghosn: I'm Renault/Nissan Dude Carlos Ghosn.
BF: Hi!
CG: Is that a Taurus?
BF: Yeah! Can you believe they just gave it to me? It was like I owned the place. It was sweet. They said I could have anything. And I said, "That's bull!" And they said, "No, no! Speaking of bull, would you like a Taurus? Get it? Bull?" I nearly peed myself! They're so clever! So I walked out of that place with this.
CG: Sweet! Where can we talk?
BF: Well, how about White Castle? We can get a sack of burgers cheap!
CG: Bill, my friend, we're gonna be buddies.
BF: Do I smell olive oil?

Alliance Schlamiance

Autoblog reports: What went wrong? Analysis of GM/Renault-Nissan talks. Yeah, what did go wrong?

(Scene, sitting down to supper at an Olive Garden)
GM CEO Rick Wagoner: So, what's your idea, Carlos?
Renault/Nissan Dude Carlos Ghosn: I have many ideas. Many, many, many ideas. Hey, breadsticks! (begins to talk but mouth is quite full with three breadsticks)
RW: I'm not sure I'm on board with the idea. There's the possibility of cost savings, sure. But you guys are going to get more out of this.
CG: Salad? Man, this place is great. (begins eating)
RW: Really, Carlos. Close your mouth when you chew.
CG: How about we share suppliers. And parts. You like my parts?
RW: Look, if this deal is about to happen, you'll need to put some cash on the table.
CG: I thought the bread and salad were free? What you up to, Rick?
RW: Sigh.

Renault To Start Talks With Nissan If GM/Ford Talks Fail

All the Renault-deal talk is insane. It's like a soap opera:

The NY Times (registration required) reports: Renault Chief May Look to Ford if G.M. Talks Fail.

Autoblog reports: GM and Renault/Nissan come back into the forefront, continuing talks.

AutoWeek reports: Backup Plan?

We sat with Renault CEO Carlos Ghosn at a Bucky's Burgers 'n' Burritos recently:

Cars! Cars! Cars!: Thanks for sitting down with us today.
Carlos Ghosn: You're wel... Hey, you got salsa? I didn't get any salsa. I'll trade you something for the salsa.
CCC: You can have ours.
CG: No, no. Let's talk about this. I have some sour cream you can have.
CCC: We have a lactose issue, so we'll skip it. You can have the salsa. Tell, us, how is it that you can be willing to make a deal with any U.S. manufacturer? Are GM and Ford that similar?
CG: No, no. I have chips to trade for your salsa. How about that?
CCC: What will you eat the salsa on?
CG: Gah! These talks are going nowhere.
(Gets up, takes tray to another table where a woman is trying to deal with three children: one sitting quietly but not eating, one under the table playing with broken bits of nacho chips, and the last child grunting as if having a bowel movement. "I see you have some salsa," Mr. Ghosn is heard to say.)

Mmmmmaybe

Bloomberg News reports: Ghosn May Participate in GM Management in Link-Up.

Carlos Ghosn, chief executive officer of Nissan Motor Co. and Renault SA, said he may participate in the management of General Motors Corp. if his two companies form an alliance with GM.

May. He might consider it, sure. Maybe. Dude, he's taking over! He's already got everyone talking.

"If we see that opportunities are far bigger than risk and if one of the conditions is some kind of participation on my part, I would be glad to do it, but it can't come at the detriment to my role at Nissan and Renault," Ghosn said.

Man, is he Mr. Humble. "Oh, sure, I'll help you move that dresser Saturday morning. But Sunday is off-limits. I gotta turn in early on Sunday 'cause on Monday I'm swinging a wrecking ball through the halls of GM." He might consider it? People expect him to throw some face around. Otherwise what's the point?

GM Meets With Renault And Nissan

The Detroit News reports: Heat's on GM board. You know, we don't know. Is this merger/alliance a good idea? Hell, we're not afraid of change, but in this case, we don't know. We do know that GM isn't selling a whole lot of really interesting products, Nissan's sales are down (~18%) for the first half of 2006, and Renault... hell, they don't sell anything here at all.

So does this potential deal make sense?

We don't know. What we do know is that no one involved seems to be crazy about cars. Where's the passion, mates? Hell, we'd be happy if you even sorta liked cars. Just a little. Wouldn't it be awesome if GM CEO Rick Wagoner said, "Holy crap, I love my '05 CTS so much, I'm not trading it for an '07. I LOVE this friggin' thing!"? Or if Nissan/Renault CEO Carlos Ghosn said, "I'm not giving up my 350z. Ever. Even when I get canned for cost cutting so much that we ended up in Tennessee. How do I look in overalls?"? And heaven forbid if rich dude Kerk Kerkorian said, "I do sometimes drive a car" rather than "I eat kittens for breakfast. Calicos are simply deeeeeelicious in the morning."

We think the main problem at GM is that there aren't enough dudes running the show who are passionate about cars. There's not a single person at GM who'a passionate about the Monte Carlo. Holy crap, kill that fat turd.

And build us cars that you want to drive.

GM needs to put their focus on and energy into all of their products. Like the Pontiac Solstice pictured here.