Cars! Cars! Cars!

Just One. Really?

Just one GM was returned during the 60-day guarantee? Meanwhile

He [GM Vice Chairman Bob Lutz] says consideration for GM vehicles is up 15 percent and says its market share in September, 20.5 percent, is the same as last year.

Consideration, eh? We wonder how sales are doing this Oct…

But back to our first point… And it was an exchange, not a real return? Man, that sounds fishy. Also sounds like a good story that is just told to get picked up and retold… Damn you, GM!

Referenced articles
autoweek.com: A Chevrolet Corvette the only ‘authenticated' return under GM's 60-day guarantee, Lutz says

Recall!

No, not good 'ol GD, just some Fords. One million? No, keep going. Two? Nope. Three. Think mo. Mo mo mo. Four?! Oh, stop, we'll answer for you.

4,500,000

All the way back to when Clinton was in office! Sweet mercy that's a lot of Fords. There's a good chance the tech that'll repair your car was 8 years old at the time some of these beasts were made.

Referenced articles
CNNMoney.com: Ford recall hits 4.5 million vehicles

Can't Be Real

There is no way that DeLorean Motor Company is considering building a car based on the Pontiac Solstice.

That car helped kill Pontiac and Saturn. No, it did not single car-ily kill both companies, but it was a great example of why both companies failed.

Why DeLorean would want any part of this… Feels like a lot of car companies are just grasping at anything.

Referenced articles
Autoblog: Rumormill: DeLorean Motor Company considering rescuing Pontiac Solstice?

Who knew we needed a DeLorean category?

Time To Make A New Category

Not that we care all that much for Trucks* but what the hell is Chrysler thinking? A brand just around the RAM trucks? It's not like these things have been selling like hotcakes... so WTF?

Is Chrysler going to spin off the Challenger, too? Oh, look, the Challenger brand is up 100% (when they sell their second car).

Seriously, we almost started the WTF category when Penske was going to buy Saturn but we scrapped it when Penske scrapped their plans. We decided we'll move ahead with the WTF category if Konenenishooterglavenberg makes the Saab purchase official, but now we're wondering if we should do it now.

WTF!

Referenced articles
PickupTrucks.com: Dodge Trucks To Be Separated From Cars Under Ram Brand

*We're just kidding, trucks. We hear Alison likes her some trucks. Oh, that picture is from Dodge. Copyright Dodge.

No One Could Have Predicted

Actually, we didn't. But we knew this was a no go. There were no cars to sell. And it's not like people were lining up to buy any Saturns anyway.

So what happens now? Saturn just closes and "the dream" dies. GM never gave Saturn a solid shot. Oh, they started to but never followed through properly. The cars never really improved and the competition became better and better.

We're betting the same thing happens with Saab. GM took a niche, but well-loved, brand and made it so very mediocre (No hatch? It's not a frickin' Saab if there's no hatch, duh!).

Referenced articles
The Detroit News: Penske calls off Saturn deal with GM
The New York Times: G.M. to Close Saturn After Penske Pulls Out of Deal

A New Ford

The new Ford's here! The new Ford's here! And is he more qualified than ever or what?

Anybody who can keep junior high school kids not only in their seats but focused on a lesson plan can deal with any supplier issue, boardroom dispute or labor-contract negotiations he's ever likely to encounter.

Yeah, that's for su... What? This has been the secret all along? Not years in the industry but a couple of years teaching readin', writin' and 'rithmetic? Jesus.

Look out Mulally, Krabappel is comin' fer ya!

Referenced articles
autoweek.com: Henry III, Act I: Henry Ford's great-great grandson will soon enter the stage

Yes, technically Krabappel is Edna Krabappel. A female teacher. But we couldn't think of a dude teacher and, hell, Krabappel is a fun name! W00t!

No More Pies

Everyone knew Pontiac was over and that Saturn was likely to go away, but holy shit, GM is canning Saturn this year? 2009 is the last model year for Saturn.

We suppose we shouldn't be taking it this hard because no one is buying any Ions. Or Vues. Or the other one thing. Car?

In related news, Pontiac is also over. This doesn't come as any surprise at all. To anyone. Except the sphinc who just bought a G6 coupe. "Look at my bitchin' ride, yo!" (moments pass) "Doeth!"

In more related news, everyone is fired and somehow the American taxpayers will own a majority in GM. Let's quote sphinc up there... "Doeth!"

Referenced articles
CNNMoney.com: GM goes for broke

Bloomberg News: GM Steps Up Job Cuts, Offers Shares to Bondholders <--There's lots of "news" in this article, but the "fact" that "jumped" out at "us" was: The goal is to phase out Saturn in 2009, instead of 2011 as previously discussed.

GM To Make Pies

This summer GM is planning on shutting down for a while. You know, in order to lower inventory. You know, in order to build confidence from consumers that they'll be in business for a long time to come. You know, by not building cars.

Instead maybe they'll make pies.

Mmmm, Chevy Monte Pielo. Oh, how about Cadillac PIE? Oh, Pontiac G8 GXP (it's not a fancy pie, but it'll do in a pinch... like an Entenmann's). Ohhh! Chevy Apieo! Ohhh! Buick Pi... zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Referenced articles
CNNMoney.com: GM plans major summer shutdown.

Go Small And Die

So say an insurance group. It's not pointed out specifically how many accidents occur as head-on, but it's hard to miss the point that should one occur and you're in a tiny bugger you are bummin'.

Is the answer a bigger car?

Referenced articles
NY Times: Study Says Small-Car Buyers Sacrifice Safety for Economy

2009 New York Auto Show

Well, the 2009 Auto Show is on and we went, sat, talked, ate, oggled at Jill and honestly came back less than impressed. It makes total sense that the 2009 NY Auto Show be somewhat low-key, but come on! While we could go on about this, we did find some bits to get excited about.

If you don't want to read our long and stupid recap, here it is in two words: Hyundai Wins. Otherwise, here we go brand by brand:

Acura
Oh, Acura, you've lost your way. The quiet luxury division of Honda was never a big player like Lexus, but they did what they did very well. The 2004 Acura TL was a thing of beauty... until they redid it for 2009. Then we started to notice the other bits they were making. And none of it was inspiring. Acura introduced a new crossover last week called the ZDX. ZDX, really? Think you're gonna sell a lot of these? Hint: You won't. There is no way in hell this will be a big seller. Or an even decent seller. Right now, the only decent Acura is making is the TSX and we're not too chubbed about its styling. Oh, the other thing Acura is doing right is the interior door handles on the RL. But since the RL is being redesigned, you can kiss goodbye the convenience of not hanging out of the car to pull the door shut.

Audi
Man, these are cars are awesome. And by cars we mean the hotties in black in the Audi booth. Give anyone an S5 and they'll be Audi fans forever.

Buick
Yes, the 2010 LaCrosse is now a contender (we should say might because it's not for sale). And, yes, Buick did somehow pay off enough people to get itself to the top of the JD Powers list of something or other. But we're not all that confident Buick will be hanging around much longer. Buick might as well rent their bit of booth out to someone else.

Cadillac
Nothing worth mentioning. We think the CTS is finally decent. The STS and DTS still need to catch up, however. They will.

Chevy
True story: We stood in front of Camaro and watched people hit their heads getting in. Ha! The Camaro represents GM. So friggin' great on the outside (Camaro is, by far, the best looking muscle car being offered), but just not well thought-out on the inside. The Camaro also exemplifies why GM is doing so poorly: Folks on the inside can't see what's going on outside.

Chrysler
Chrysler is so totally screwed. And WTF is up with Fiat wanting to do business with 'em? Didn't Fiat sneak out of its deal with GM by the skin of its teeth? Chrysler had nothing going on in its booth.

Dodge
While we expect plenty of people to be sitting in them Challengers, we're pretty sure those same cars are going to be getting dusty on the dealer's lots.

Ford
Actually, Ford is OK. The Taurus is just way stinking big, but the new Fiesta, Focus and Fusion are all tops with us. And the Flex... is way sweeter than we could have imagined. At $44k (that's what a sweet one costs) it's a hard sell at the moment, but if you are supposed to buy a minivan and don't want to, get this. It's really bitchin'.

Fisker
Who? Right. We got yelled at for slamming the electric's car door. Which we hadn't even slammed yet. Lots of cleavage in the booth, however. Not sure about slamming that.

Honda
Honda has a lot going on despite being the sleepiest company ever. Fit, Civic and FXC Clarity are all sweet. Accord is just too big now. And too buttony.

HUMMER
Nope.

Hyundai
While one can say it's entertaining to watch GM destroy itself (we don't think it is, but one can say that) one can also say it's entertaining to watch a company reinvent itself. Hyundai appears to be such a company. It's very clear to us the Hyundai Genesis Sedan and Genesis Coupe will destroy the competition. Watch. These cars are no-brainers for folks looking for what appears to be a great car at a great price. While fuel economy is nothing to write home about (and if that's your issue then it's time to move on to another ride), refinement seems to be in place and the level of equipment you get is quite impressive. Hyundai let Toyota and Honda dispense with Detroit while it (Hyundai) kept itself out of the fight all the while refining, refining, refining. It won't be long before Hyundai finds itself close behind Toyota in terms of sales.

Jeep
Chrysler is so friggin' desperate for good news, that its Jeep division announced the 2011 Grand Cherokee. Yeah, 2011. It's not done yet, but it's coming. We wonder if anything will come of it.

Lincoln
Nope.

Mazda
Did Mazda have anything cool going on? 2010 Mazdaspeed 3... Are these things selling? We tried to get into Mazda's media site, but holy cow, what a mess. Looks like sales are down 58% so far this year. Mazda's media web site, they're doin it wrong.

Mercedes-Benz
Mercedes-Benz updated the E-Class with stuff and more stuff, but the interesting bit was the car they aren't (yet) bringing over. It's a diesel and if there's enough of a demand for an E-Class car that gets 44 mpg M-B said they'd bring it. It's 50-state ready, too. We think it would be foolish not to bring it over here.

Mercury
How in the hell is this division still allowed at the show? Holy cow!

Pontiac
Nope.

Saab
Nope.

Saturn
Poor Saturn. The Aura is actually decent. We don't think they make any other vehicles, however. Poor Saturn.

Scion
The xB is huge now. Seems like keeps getting bigger. Whatever model of Scion had the hotties gettin their picture took in front of it is the Scion to get. Mercy!

Volvo
Holy snore city, Batman. Or Olev. The 2010 S80 was announced but, really, really? Ford better hope for more from the Volvo team if it (Ford) expects to sell this division off. Sales are off 50% so far and it's not like there is any shining star that's going to turn it around. The only glimmer is the totally awesome C30, but that's a small car and profits in the small car world are small. Oh, by glimmer we mean sales are only off by 16% so far this year. In comparison, the XC90 is off by 66%.

VW
VW didn't have a Jetta wagon in their booth when we were there and, really, that's the only reason we went over there at all. No wagon? Then we're not talkin!

For the record, Hyundai treated us to food and drink Tuesday night at a press event. We claim it had no influence over stance on the company, but we suppose that's up to you to decide.