Cars! Cars! Cars!

No! No! No! NOOOO!

Well, screw us, it's a yes:
Autoblog reports: No surprise Cadillac is planning RWD sub-CTS.

Cadillac is the upscale brand. Up! Up! Uuuuup! You know why Lexus doesn't have a $25,000 car? You know why Mercedes doesn't have a $25,000 car? Because they are premium brands! Cadillac needs to starts acting like it. And, anyway, the profits are in the higher-end models, not the low-end ones like a car slotted under the CTS. If you want to... gah, we're so pissed we can't write. Which, granted, is no different than any other day, but when we're in a better mood, we look for pictures of Alison and, ahhhhhhh. That's better.

Hey, GM. Keep Cadillac the premium brand. The CTS should be the base car and there should be nothing below it. Look, you got lucky with the first CTS (as in: it wasn't a POS) and this current model (2008) is really very good, but your luck is going to run out and you're going to end up making another Cimarron. Or the one that hot what's her name/wherever the hell she is drove in the ads. Man, she was smokin'!

Anyway, don't go under the CTS. Please.

GM: Less Choice For You! (Union Workers)

The Detroit Free Press reports: UAW deal with GM offers fewer health plans. We wonder whether GM management has the same plan. We'd bet not.

We look at this healthcare situation this way: If the UAW can't get a great deal, none of us can. We've read comments on our fellow car blogs where folks write: "It's time for the UAW to get into the real world and join the rest of us." We take that to mean where we all have crappy health coverage that costs too much. But why would anyone want others to be in the same crappy boat? Wouldn't it be better to be in the better boat? Now of course we're not suggesting everyone join the UAW. Rather, why not want the same benefits they have? Or your boss? Or your boss's boss?

This problem has been a long time coming, and it's only going to get worse. And even if workers are stripped of more and more benefits, the products we purchase are never going to get better, cheaper or safer because the healthcare for workers has been reduced. The only results of fewer benefits will be higher corporate profits and fatter bonuses for upper management. And sicker workers.

Here's a great read about The Labor Lessons GM Never Learned. And while this references GM, it applies to all corporations. And all workers everywhere.

So before you criticize the autoworkers union on healthcare,* remember, Where the unions go, we eventually all go.

*We're not saying the union shouldn't be criticized at all. Everything should be looked at with a critical eye. That's how you recognize successes and identify areas to improve. Whether it's unions, cars or Alison. Strike that last one. Alison is sooo perfect. Heck, anyone who gets to touch Dolly Parton is awesome!

Hawt!

Leftlane News reports: GM plans Pontiac Solstice Targa.

Now this would make up for GM killing off the Nomad, which, granted, isn't the same kind of car, but both are sweet lookin'. Like Alison.

Ford Accidently Sells Several Edges

The Detroit News reports: Ford's sales down 21 percent in September despite crossover success. So, Ford makes two vehicles that folks want. Nice.

In other news, our, um, er, market penetration into Alison Krauss territory has not lived up to expectation despite skillful comb-over and pimple-popping success.

OK, We'd Consider Buying This If It Were American

Edmunds reports: Frankfurt Auto Show: Sell It as a Mazda 6. Sell It as a Ford Mondeo. Just Bring It to the U.S.! We couldn't agree more, Edmunds. We couldn't agree more. Take a look at that Ford Mondeo and tell us it isn't a beautiful car. Not as beautiful as if Alison Krauss was made into a car, but it's still... Oh, Alison. She's so purty.

But These Golden Eggs Are Worth Plenty!

CNN reports: Report: GM, Ford seek health care deal. Look, we're not lawyers or union members or economists or truckers or bankers or judo instructors or negotiators or gynecologists* or diarymaids or balloonists or dock laborers or bounty hunters or gladiators* or embalmers or journalists or innkeepers or horseshit scrapers or the Pope, but we have to wonder if taking the stock from companies that ain't-a doin' so well to fund your health care system makes any sense.

But getting the union to agree to take the automakers' shares might be difficult, given the ongoing losses and market share declines that the automakers have seen in recent years.

Simple cash makes for good labor negotiations.

*Alison Krauss knows us as Dr. Love, her gladiatorially built gynecologist. Oh, we take her insurance, baby, we take her insurance.

Honda Azera

Jalopnik reports: Spy Photos: 2008 Honda Accord. Dammit, come on, Honda. We expect more from you. And this isn't a knock on Hyundai ('cause they are kicking arse all over the place), it's more an issue with the lack of imagination from the folks at Honda. They've done such a great job with the Civic, Fit and CR-V (which is hellasnazzy) that we're quite disappointed in the Accord. At least from the pics we've seen. At a quick glance. While we were busy.

We've mentioned Honda copying Hyundai before when we first saw snaps of the coupe... what's that all about? Or are we making a connectiont that isn't there?

For Sale: Everything

The Detroit News reports: Ford wants speedy sale of luxury European brands. Smart move, Ford. The PAG makes some purty cars, but the division is losing money (like the rest of Ford). But, like we just said, the cars are decent, so some company will (be foolish enough) to buy one or all of the pieces.

This of course, comes as no surprise to us since in August 2006 we wrote in our Ford Is A Mess post

Want to know what Ford is going to do? Sell every brand in the Premier Auto Group, hunker down, and focus on the Ford brand.

Think this will happen? Think it will be enough to turn Ford around? We know it will happen, but we're mighty skeptical that it will be enough to help.

Sales! Sales! Sales!

Autoblog reports: By The Numbers: May 2007.

What kind of effed up month was May that GM sales are up and Honda's are down? In any event, way to go, Saturn! And good riddance, Jaguar! Another example that building cars people want is a good bidness. Does anyone ever say, "Man, I gotta get me a Jaguar?" Now, we're not claiming that people get all wet and juicy for a Saturn... or do they?

Jeep Needs To Build JT

Motor Authority reports: Jeep unveils two new concepts for SEMA. We don't normally cover anything but cars and Alison, but we're going to make a small exception because the JT could be something really, really special. And be the next big thing for the Jeep brand.

Now that Chrysler is owned (well, about to be) by Cerberus, here's our sure-fire way to revive the Jeep brand: Build a low-cost, low-frills JT. We don't mean low-cost as in low ability, just low everything fancy. No leather, make it vinyl. Not power windows, a crank'll do ya. No AC... well, AC. So we're pansy... STFU!

The JT has the chance to be the shining example for the do-it-yourselfer who has a little bit of property to work on, but can't afford no $27,000 pickup truck. That same buyer will be a tinkerer that longs to relive the past they never got to take part in. Chrysler, give us a truck to tinker with and that we can afford. The Wrangler and Wrangler Unlimited ain't it.