Ford: We Are Kickin' Ass! Our Employees' Asses, That Is.

CNN/Money reports: CEO: Ford ahead of schedule on layoffs. Way to kick ass on the cannings, Ford.

Anyway, from the land of the obvious, Ford CEO Alan Mulally said:

"We have got to turn around North America and be profitable by 2009," Mulally was quoted as saying. "Because if not, you just keep losing cash and pretty soon you run out."

Really? You run out of money if you spend it all? How can that happen? Why not turn all those manufacturing plants into printing presses and print more money? Do we have to do everything for you, Ford?

Then, after a flipping a switch, Mr. Mulally's desk turned over to reveal a jukebox, 47 lava lamps lowered from the ceiling, and some funky-ass music started playing. He continued:

"They make products that people want and they do it with less resources and less time than anybody else in the world," he told the Detroit News. "They're a magical machine."

Magical machine? Look, hippie. Get a hair cut and start making kick-ass cars.

"Oh, man," he continued, "you gotta check out my new prototyyyyyype." Then he fell asleep so we took $18 from his wallet

Comments

[Aaron Gold]

What's with the picture of the Chevy van?