Autoblog reports: Saab confirms 9-4X CUV to replace 9-7X SUV. Come on!
GM: We need you to make a small car.
Saab: The 9-3 hatch is pretty small. It's not tiny, but Saab isn't meant to be tiny.
GM: Tiny! Here, use this.
Saab: Ew, what is it?
GM: It's a Suzuki.
Saab: It says Subaru on it.
GM: Oh, right. Subaru.
Saab: What are we to do with this?
GM: Saab it the hell up. Sell a lot of 'em. Profit!
Saab: Ah, you Americans are funny. Are we supposed to crash it?
GM: No, we mean it.
Saab: You want us to make a Swedish car out of a Japanese car and sell it to Americans as authentic?
GM: Bingo, Sven!
Saab: Ah, you Americans are funny. That would never sell.
GM: No, we mean it. Sell a lot of 'em. Profit!
Saab: Uh...
(thinking)
Saab (thinking to self): Please don't make us make a truck, please don't make us make a truck, please...
GM: We got another idea, Sven....
Saab (thinking) Oh, God, no.
GM: We have this truck...
Saab (thinking to self): It's over...
Hey, GM, let Saab makes Saabs and maybe they'd sell. Stop with the Saabing of GM products. Sheesh.
And to prove that it doesn't work, check out the sales. Who's the big loser? Saab. Sigh.
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