New GM Plan Pisses Off Klingons
The Detroit News reports: GM upgrades Mich. plants, adds 200 jobs. The five plants to be upgraded:
Pontiac Assembly Center
Pontiac stamping plants
Engine plant in Romulus
Transmission plant in Ypsilanti
Lansing Grand River assembly plant
Klingons were reported to be very QeH and are prepared to protest Michigan governor Jennifer Granholm's juH.
GM: If You Would Die Now It'd Sure Do Us A Favor
The Detroit News reports: GM retirees balk at deal to cut health care. Man, screwing retirees who did their part... seems so unfair. "Look, Cars! Cars! Cars! loser, you want the company to go out of business? GM isn't a social safety net." Crap, man, we don't know how you got in here, but all we're asking is for GM to live up to the deal it made. And as far as GM not being a social safety net, that's right. They are a car manufacturer. And they are suckin' at that in a large way. GM, not the retirees, will put itself out of business. GM better start chuyDah yllaQ or they are doomed.
Hillbilly States: Give Us Money!
CNN/Money reports: $25 million initiative to boost child safety seats. WTF! It's not enough of an incentive to have the children live? This kind of crap drives us crazy -- the U.S. government has to bribe dumb-ass states into making laws that mandate safety? Why don't these friggin' states do this without drowning their faces in the trough of "greed and gimme?" Oh, we know it costs money to enforce these new laws, but that's not the reason these states aren't making these laws. This'll sound a bit funny, but they aren't passing these laws until they get the money. But we said... look, these friggin' states want the money, but if you are foolish enough to believe they will earmark the money only for enforcement of this new law, well, our bridge is for sale. If these backwards, hillbilly states wanted to really make a difference in the lives of the children, they'da done it already. But, dammit, there's very few kickbacks in the "helping children out" game.
Diesels! Diesels! Diesels!
CNN.com AUTOS reports: Diesel: Using oil to cut oil use. CNN.com AUTOS has decided that diesel is the way to go and we are all stupid for thinking hybrids are a good idea. Or ethanol. Diesels! The only real way to use less fuel is to use less fuel. Walk, bike, bus or train. We're a car culture (in case this changes, we're prepared to unleash our Donuts! Donuts! Donuts! sister site... that sweet, sticky, delicious site can be ready to go in a New York minute!) and we all have to understand we're the ones using a lot of oil every damned day.
Oil Companies Have Awesome-a Powah!
The NY Times (registration required) reports: U.S. Royalty Plan to Give Windfall to Oil Companies. Woohoo! Oil companies rock the house, baby! As if making billions weren't enough, the U.S. government (them again!) are giving away royalties. Sweetness!
The federal government is on the verge of one of the biggest giveaways of oil and gas in American history, worth an estimated $7 billion over five years.All this does is once again prove to us that studying art and how to help people is a waste of fucking time. Helping people, what are you people thinking?!New projections, buried in the Interior Department's just-published budget plan, anticipate that the government will let companies pump about $65 billion worth of oil and natural gas from federal territory over the next five years without paying any royalties to the government.
Based on the administration figures, the government will give up more than $7 billion in payments between now and 2011. The companies are expected to get the largess, known as royalty relief, even though the administration assumes that oil prices will remain above $50 a barrel throughout that period.
We're All Winners!
Leftlane News reports: Bill Ford named auto exec of the year. WTF! Did they change the requirements or eligibility? OK, Ford was profitable for 2005, but Ford's most important (currently) market, North America, is way in the crapper. Ford is so confused that it actually changed the name of a car after it was already in production! How come Takeo Fukui or Katsuaki Watanabe or Ok Suk Koh weren't picked? Their companies kicked ass all over the place in 2005. So, look, all we're asking for is to have someone double-check the list of factors a person needs in order to be eligible to win this award because, you know, maybe we actually won.
100 billion bonus points for the Mr. Sparkle reference. This is because he is disrespectful to dirt! Can you see he is serious?
Posted by: Alex | Tuesday, February 14, 2006 at 11:41 AM