Ford, Volvo, Maserati, And Stains

Fixin' Ford
Everyone is covering the whole Ford restructuring plan, so we're going to mostly skip it and let the other outlets cover it. Oh, we're reading everything we can find about the restructuring dealie, but we feel others can do analysis better than we can. We think these articles/sites are interesting:

The Detroit News reports: PAINFUL.

The NY Times (registration required) reports: Ford Eliminating Up to 30,000 Jobs and 14 Factories.

The NY Times (registration required) reports: Many Workers, Few Shifts. OK, we admit, it's pretty hard to feel sorry for people who admittedly do no work.... It's examples like this that make everyone hate unions (though on the other hand, we all know big bosses who do no work and get paid bigger bucks than union people). Unions should totally do what they can to protect workers, but stuff like this is just bad for everyone.

Autoblog reports: Ford's 'Way Forward'? Not if the UAW has anything to say about it.... Not for nothing, but the union should fight it. That's what its role is. We're not saying the union will or should win, but they should fight it.

It's also interesting because there's some buzz that the states where the Ford manufacturing plants are located might offer some moolah to Ford to keep the plants open. We're not smart enough to figure all of this out, but it sure is interesting reading. Meanwhile, where's Mercury's brand identity, where are the good Lincolns, and where's the 2006 Ford Claire Thunderbird? Huh, where's that one?

And, well, OK, we need to poke some fun at this:

The Car Connection reports: More to Come from Ford.

It took a team of 60 Ford insiders, working virtually without break for 100 days, to pull together the Way Forward turnaround plan.

Wow, three months of hard work. Sounds like it's time for medals. Hello? It took you three months to figure out you had too many manufacturing plants? It took you three months to figure out that your North American division was in the hopper? And, crap, you still haven't figured out you aren't making cars people want! That took us about 18 seconds to figure out. Let's see, that leaves us with 99 days of virtually pants-free livin'!

But let's get back to lookin' at cars. All this bad news about Ford is bringin' us down:

Volvo, Makin' A Car For Those Who Like Cars
AutoWeek reports: Hatching a Hatch. Ugh! Why isn't this here already? Hello? A hip, cool, affordable (?) Volvo for us poor slobs who can't afford to wear long pants. Where do we sign up? They're still thinkin' about it. Good Madonna!

Volvo executives say the company is considering three avenues for the U.S. edition of the C30. But they can select only one because of limited volumes expected here. The choices, with estimated prices, include:

Pitching the car as an entry-luxury urban commuter with an inline four-cylinder engine and a sticker price of around $23,000.

Sacrificing some volume but gaining performance credibility by equipping the C30 with a turbocharged five-cylinder engine for around $25,000.

Loading it up with gadgetry and all-wheel drive and pricing it at around $30,000.

Anne Belec, CEO of Volvo Cars of North America, says the car must have "a purity of concept." She is against equipping the vehicle as "small, cute and with a base engine."

She says: "It needs a great powertrain, great audio and great wheels. It's important for people to not think of it as a small car because then they expect small power and a small price."

It needs all that stuff, eh? Is that what your customers said? Hey! We have an idea! Why not ask your customers! They might know what they want and what they can afford. By the way, we sure as hell aren't going to drop $30K for a small Volvo, so you should shitcan that mofo right now. Everyone is all hot for the Mazda3 ($18K) and the Audi A3 ($25K), so anything over $25K and you aren't going to get the new customers. Pitch the car as a fun, safe alternative to the Japanese boy racers. Starting at $24,500 with a turbo-charger five-cylinder.

Yum
AutoWeek reports: Quattroporte Leads the Way. Duh. Of course this car is helping Maserati's sales. It's gorgeous. It's Italian. If Claire were a car, she'd be a... actually, no, she wouldn't be a Quattroporte. Claire is dainty and nimble and sweet and, hopefully, blind with no sense of smell. Then we have a chance!

Yawn!
The Detroit News reports: Auto show officials happy despite 2% slip in attendance. Well, 2% isn't necessarily a lot, but it could be a sign that cars aren't as interesting as they used to be. Or, at least, car shows aren't as interesting. Here at Cars! Cars! Cars!, we hate the car shows. Good Madonna, they're awful. Crowded, expensive, hot (not hot in a Claire way). It's a bad scene. Plus the cars are always beat to hell by the third day, so forget it. We think the Detroit auto show should be thrilled to get 700,000 people to show the hell up.

Stains B-Gone!
Autoblog reports: Chrysler Group to introduce new stain- and odor-resistant upholstery. Now, this is the kind of thing we've been waiting for! Stain- and odor-resistant material. Hey, Chrysler, put this in our pants, and we got a sale!

Comments

[Mark Clarkson]

heard that Ford is on a top secret mission to build recyclable cars. What do you have to say about this?

[Mike]

I don't know. I eyed the 2.0T A3 but I wanted AWD, so then I eyed the 3.2 quattro A3, but then I remembered that $37k is a lot of money. I think both A3s are a little too expensive for what they offer. If Volvo made an AWD with a nice engine (turbo 5?) for around $30k, that could be sweet, if they keep the weight down. Though probably very very low volume.