Morning News: Solstice, Free Gas, Rick Wagoner's Career

Toyota: Anyone See Where We Put The Plans For The New Roadster?
The NY Times (registration required) reports: 2006 Pontiac Solstice: A Ray of Sunshine Amid G.M.'s Gathering Clouds. That's what most likely happened, right? How could same company that made the Aztek make this? We're pro good cars but we're not pro stealing them from unsuspecting Japanese industrialists just looking for a good time. It's one thing to steal their plans but to knock them on the head and get "nasty boy" tattooed on their arses... That's just uncalled for!

Should Be Gallons, Not Dollars
The Detroit News reports: GM offering SUV, pickup buyers $500 gas cards. See, $500 doesn't buy what it used to. Let's assume that SUVs and pickups get 20 miles to the gallon and... stop laughing. No, really, stop. Stop! Get up off the god-damned floor so we can finish this. We're gonna walk away. GET UP! Screw you, we're continuing without you! So, we're talking about 182 gallons of regular unleaded, right? That's what, 3600 miles give or take? It would be far cooler (and a hell of a lot more complicated) to do it in miles. Imagine the advertisement GM could run: "Drive your truck for 500... What you're buying a hybrid! Screw you, hippie!"

Way To Bury A Lead
The NY Times reports (registration required): General Motors and Union Reach Agreement on Health Care Costs. OK, they didn't bury the lead but their choice of headline wasn't the one we'd use. We'da used this one: "GM loses $740,000 an hour, every hour for the last 90 days." $1.6 billion baby! Woohoo! We could do that for far less than GM is paying its fancy boys with their pants and bullet-proof hair. And GM is still giving $500 to buyers of trucks and SUVs... which aren't selling so well since $500 gets to you end of the dealer's parking lot. So, what we're saying is, we don't see this leaking ship being plugged up soon.

Rick Wagoner's Career Is Over
The Truth About Cars gives the smackdown in: Death Watch XXXV: Rick Wagoner, RIP. Man. Man! MAN! Bobby F gives the smackdown on ol' Rick! We've enjoyed all XXXV of TTAC's Death Watch columns, but this one was pretty freakin' rough. Bobby's also pretty harsh on the unions, too:

Thanks to a combination of Delphi's bankruptcy, the UAW's foot dragging and the cataclysmic loss of sales, market share and cash; Rabid Rick's promises will now, finally, ring false. Even the most dim-witted investor will understand that GM's business is deeply, fundamentally flawed. Union contracts and bureaucratic bungling render them incapable of building the vehicles that consumers want, in quantities that reflect demand, at a price that guarantees an adequate profit.

He continues full throttle at GM...

And just in case you think our reports of GM's demise have been greatly exaggerated, there is a growing school of thought which says that GM should declare bankruptcy NOW, before the UAW's inevitable strike drains The General of its remaining resources.

And, finally at GM CEO Rick Wagoner:

Which is, ultimately, what not-so-clever Mr. Wagoner is fighting so hard to protect. Which is, ultimately, why he can no more win this battle than he can save his career.

Man! That was awesome. If we learn that Robert Farago writes these editorials sans pants we're voting him to be the next Car King*!

*OK, this deserves an explanation. We looked around something funny for car king but all that came up was Liv Tyler. Well, she's pretty smokin' so we figured that's fine. But then we remembered Liv Tyler porked out. So now we don't know what to do. We certainly don't want Bobby F to get all fat and eat Kirstie Alley.

Comments

[sidoine avodo]

I have a business idea for General motors and it's a great stake for my Central Africa where I'm from.I want to plan with General motors to manufacture some cars in Central Africa.I have some opportunities to sign a convention with some Heads of State in central Africa to build the factory and to find the fund.So I need to talk to Mr.Wagoner to study that plan together.

[SHERRY]

GENERAL MOTORS WILL NOT HONOR WARRANTIES. I BOUGHT A NEW BLACK MONTE CARLO IN 9\05, AND HAVE HAD PROBLEMS WITH THE PAINT. ALL I HAVE GOT FROM ANY OF GM'S REPRESENTATIVES IS THE RUN AROUND. I AM CURRENTLY PAYING FOR A $30,000.00 CAR WITH A PAINT JOB OF A JUNKER!! I NEED SOME ASSISTANCE FROM SOMEONE WHO CARES.

[Markeith Brown]

I will like to talk to the C.E.O Rick Wagoner about the truck I'm buying and the run around I'm doing. I'm a customer and I have the right to talk to Mr. Wagoner he can contact me at [email protected] call me at 215 779 8101 Thank you for your time on this matter