Cars! Cars! Cars!

Titanic On Wheels

The argument that we hear over and over again is: bigger is safer. Other than the fact that that argument is very misleading, we got news for you... your bigger just got smaller.

What the hell are we talking about? Check out that behemoth to the right. Yes, you're right, it's a goofy-looking pickup truck. Goofy-looking or not, it's big, and it's gonna be on the roads with all of us pretty damn soon. "Now, now, calm down," you say. "There are lots of big rigs on the road today. What's the difference?"

Well the difference is this: At full capacity this International 7300 CTX will weigh almost 26,000 pounds. The average sedan (while sadly getting bigger) is maybe 3,500 pounds. And herein lies the rub: this truck isn't just bigger, it's a lot bigger... as in it requires much more stopping distance than your typical sedan (or even SUV for that matter). But, get this, you don't need a commercial license to drive it. Hell, we could go buy one and run your ass over while learning how the thing handles...

We think there need to be new license requirements because all of this is getting out of control. More weight, more horsepower, same stupid driving test? Who are they kidding!? This thing can push a commuter bus out of the way. Parallel parking... ha! Seriously, you could go borrow a Mini, get your driver's license based on that and then go buy one of these dealies, and it's all legit. No training, baby!

We aren't saying these vehicles shouldn't be made (eh, they shouldn't but that's not the point here) or that people shouldn't be allowed to buy them. If you want to go out and buy one, you should able to, whether it's a Peterbilt, Western Star, Freightliner, International, Ford, White, Mack or Kenworth. But you should also have to know how to drive it. In order to buy any vehicle that's over 6,000 pounds, you should have to get a different and additional license in order to legally drive it. And you should pay a hell of a lot more in registration on it (Think it's the Volvo cars that are tearing up our roads?).

And for our legislators not to require an additional license for something this big... well, they should remember their kids are on the roads with these beasts, too.

Related: More ranting about driver training

Image courtesy International

This entry has been edited for clarity

GM Rebates

CNN says, "GM Boosts Incentives on '05 Models". What we get a kick out of, it's early September '04 and not only is GM selling '05 models (not unheard of, really, but still...) and not only is GM offering rebates on those '05 models, but they are increasing the rebates! We aren't businessmen (or much of men for that matter) but we wonder how GM is making any moolah that way. In fact, it's gotta be GM's loan dept (GMAC) that is making all the money for GM. Between round after round of layoffs and a generally crappy economy there has to be some way for GM to convince people to buy their cars... so give 'em the money! "Have no fear, big loan-man to the rescue. Here, have a bag of cash. And some rebates. Yes, rebates. Oh, I see you're black. Woohoo!"

City Cars

NYTimes had a great piece on new car designs for city living. The students in the article even attempted to tackle one of our biggest problems with cars in the city: finding a spot. We can run over the mailman with the best of them, but once that's over, where do we put the damned thing? We can wash off the car easily enough (we'll show you postage due!) but a parking ticket? No way!

Cambridge parking challenges also seem to have inspired the idea of the "smart curb," one area where the Media Lab succeeds in sharpening the familiar vision of networked cars. In this concept, parking spaces would electronically report their availability. Feeding this information to vehicles would create what Dr. Mitchell calls a market in parking, providing a more efficient way of finding a spot.

But, to us, the students missed the point. Cars don't belong in cities. Cities should be for pedestrians. We don't need cars to get around because public transportation is, for the most part, pretty efficient. And big cities like New York have little delis on almost every corner. Good lord, sushi isn't more than a block in any direction!

Now here's an idea that we're stealing from someone: cars that are independently driven on lower-speed roads but hook up together, train-like, when on highways. So, you're tooting around your small hometown? Drive as you please. But driving 75mph across the state? Merge onto the highway (computer-controlled, of course) and hook up with the line of cars. When you approach your exit ramp the computers get you onto the exit ramp and you're on your own again. No more high-speed road rage.

Gotta register at NYTimes to read article
And we're not sure what's up with the shadows in that graphic, either...

Friday News Roundup

Well, while we waited for Nicole to return our calls, emails and skywriting notes we read the cars news for you.

Infiniti Kills off I35
Father-in-law drives one of these. He's one of the last ones, too -- Infiniti is stopping production of the I35. Why? Sales of the G35 are a lot better. Here's the deal with many of the Japanese cars: they are as dull as dishwater but wonderfully competent. So we expect the I35 to run for years and years with relatively few troubles. But it's a car you can't find in a parking lot. You'll need to scroll down some once you click the link above. And sign up for their newsletter. It's great.

Black Boxes in expanded tests
But Cars! Cars! Cars! editor, you say, didn't you already cover black boxes in cars? Yes we did but now the dirty dogs at the insurance companies are getting into the action (which was inevitable since they are dirty dogs). Damned dirty dogs!

VW's got a sludge problem
Looks like some of them pretty Passats and awesome Audis have got themselves a little problem. Sludge. And it's ruining engines by the boatload. The article gives more specifics: VW's letting 426,000 owners know of the problem. The article continues, "The timing couldn't be worse. VW Division has old products, and sales are down 11.5 percent for the first seven months compared with the year-ago period. And it has only been a year since VW voluntarily recalled more than 500,000 vehicles because of faulty engine ignition coils." Sure sounds like it's time for VW to put down the hooterglaven and tighten up the lederhosen. Come on, boys, this is fahrfromgoodin.

Ford and GM are cutting production
Ford and GM aren't selling cars like they used to. Based on a lot of what we see from those companies we aren't surprised. But, as much as we like to pick on Detroit, it's not only their problem. Even Toyota's having sales issues. Not only are Toyota's SUV sales are down, the Camry's in the same boat! Upon further inspection, Camry sales have declined because of sheer dullness of the product. People climb in, notice the good build quality and then, boom, snore-city. Toyota builds a great car but they sure could use a jalapeño pepper in there once in a while. Also, Hummer and Jag are reducing production. (But we know that Hummer and Jag are just GM and Ford, right?) NYTimes requires registration... damned dirty dogs!

And for some good news:

Honda announces 2005 Honda Odyssey
Man, this makes us want to start popping out the kids and then popping them into this minivan. This is another instance where Honda shows its great engineering prowess. Do we mean better fuel economy from a more powerful engine? No. Do we mean a nifty second row seat whose center can fold away so there's a path to the third row? No. Then what?, you might ask. Cup holders baby. Seventeen! Woohoo! Any vehicle that has a proper home for our 12-pack of Schlitz is a winner in our book. Oh, the front of the minivan is better too, "the Odyssey is the first Honda in North America with a special advanced compatibility engineering (ACE) structure. It's designed to reduce injuries to occupants of smaller cars or to an unfortunate pedestrian." We'll finish our Schlitz, toss Billy the keys and let you know how well it works.