Celebrity Day: Ed Asner

Remember, Friday is Celebrity Day here at Cars! Cars! Cars! It's when our editorial staff decides which car* a certain celebrity should drive. This week: Edward Asner.

I know, Ed Asner. Easy pick, right? Even Simon thought it was too easy. When we picked Mr. Asner's name out of the fishbowl Simon stood right up and announced the car. It went like this:

Simon: Caddy. No question about it. A big fat Caddy.
Web peon: But...
Simon: Caddy!
(It went on like that for some time.)

But, it turns out (if Simon let me finish) it ain't so easy. You see, Mr. Asner is not Lou Grant (most of the time, anyway). Nope. Turns out he's a freakin' liberal hippie: anti-Bush, anti-war pro-pets, ... and he's been married three times (we all know liberals have soft hearts and can't stop themselves from walking down the aisle). And he's had a total of four kids, so we can infer he's a family man.

So, Mr. Asner, you expect us to pick a Caddy? Ha ha, our crack editorial staff will not fall for your stereotypical trickery! Now, let's run down Mr. Asner's vitals:

* Pro chicks
* Pro kids (must have some grandkids)
* Very liberal
* Not much hair on top

Those vitals exclude: overly muscle-ish cars, two seaters, big engines and convertibles. So, here are our picks:

Mr. Peterson: Volvo XC70
Simon: Audi A8L (well, Simon changed his mind several times after seeing Mr. Peterson's pick. Originally Simon had some old Caddy in mind and then the Audi Allroad Quattro but since Mr. Peterson's pick is a wagon he (Simon) didn't want to seem like a "conformist" <--Simon's word)
Web peon: Saab 9-5 wagon

Let's see, that's two wagons and a killer German sedan. Simon, of course, is disqualified because the Audi A8L, while a great car, has a big V-8 in it and just uses too much fuel for Mr. Asner's liberal leanings. Also, we were pretty sure he wasn't going to pick an American car (liberal types can be quite uppity). And since he's got kids and grandkids to tote around we figured he'd need the seating. So, here it is, the wagon Mr. Asner should drive:

2004 Saab 9-5 wagon

*Our first two celebrity car picks were not cars at all. They were, in fact, trucks. So we had to go back to the drawing board to make sure the editorial staff understood that we were Cars! Cars! Cars! and not something else. Sorry for not paying attention.

Comments

[keith knutsson]

I am not that excited about the 9-5 wagon. But I am really excited about the partnership between Saab and Subaru.

[carpundit]

Ed Asner should have something economical, because he probably isn't that rich and because he probably professes environmentalism.

And because of his war politics, he should have something...French.

How about a Citroen 2CV?

Maybe it'll get rammed by an H2.