Cars! Cars! Cars!

SSDD

Man, talk about talking it across the face! The economy is going down the toilet (free market, ha!), salaries are falling (or, at the very least, not keeping up with inflation) and now management is back at the bargaining table.

GM has managed to convince UAW to work for less -- a whoppin' $14 an hour. The only folks who are going to complain that these "unskilled workers" are still over paid are old, white dudes, so don't pay them any mind.

Meanwhile, in the other camp, we see that some management is doing exceedingly well. It's so fucking nice to the king.

Referenced articles:

autoblog: That was easy: UAW and GM agree on lower wages after six months of bargaining.

autoblog: Mullaly and other Ford execs made many millions in 2007.

Yes, we're well aware that one company is GM and the other is Ford, but it's not like compensation at GM is anything to sniff at. And Ford is going to use GM's deal as a reason to push hard against workers who are building Fords. Anyway, we found the contrast to be interesting.

April First Comes Early

That's right, folks. The El Camino is back and, no, it's not a joke. It's real!

We gotta seriously wonder what's in the water at GM. The CTS is dead on! The Malibu is finally a serious choice against Toyota. But the El Camino?

GM has to be aware of the storm that's brewing in the U.S.: recession and big-time inflation headed our way. Think this V-8 dealie is going to go lightly on gas? Think GM is going to sell more than 12? If you buy one of these, better save that stimulus check to put into the gas tank.

Referenced articles:
Jalopnik: 2010 Pontiac G8 Sport Truck: The El Camino Is Back!
WSJ: Rebate Checks: Straight to the Gas Tank?

In Stunning Reversal, Small Is Big

OK, this is all made up at the moment, but some folks thing that Saab might be prepping a Mini fighter. Woohoo!

That would be welcome news since Saab and GM don't know how to get Saab to build a truck dealie. Part of that reason, we think is that Saab should never, ever build a truck. Ever. Never build a truck.

Can't Saab just make a cool car like the Volvo C30?

Referenced articles:

From autoblog: Rendered Speculation: Saab MINI-fighter

GM Loses $39 Billion in 2007

GM Has Loss of $722 Million on North America Costs. Man, $722 million is nothing compared to the overall picture:

GM's deficit for the full year rose to $38.7 billion, including a $39 billion expense in the third quarter related to a tax-accounting change. In 2006, GM lost $1.98 billion, or $3.50.

The article continues:

The automaker today also announced details of a buyout plan for all of its remaining 74,000 U.S. United Auto Worker employees. The offers would provide payments of up to $62,500 for the most-skilled workers with at least 30 years service.

Uh, all of its remaining union workers? As in all of them? Does that mean GM will have no more union workers?

GM Number One!

And, now, Toyota is number two. Autoblog reports: By the Numbers: 2007.

So, let's see here. Add up the BMW with the Ford, carry the, hey, where's the VW dealie? Anyway, we're looking at roughly: 14,092,314 vehicles sold. That's more than we'da guessed... But we're willing to make another stupid prediction.

Thanks to the housing market collapse, we bet we see no more than 13,500,000 sold in 2008. Too many mortgages are coming due and too many people are going to be booted out of their homes. And if the recession gets into full swing (it will), there'll be no money for a roof, let alone a ride.

Jaguar only sold 15,683 cars in '07? We're surprised they sold that many based on the models they have for sale. We know they are coming out with a new model called... the... what was it? Oh, right, the Who Cares. Good luck, Jaguar.

Honda: Doeth!

Autoblog reports: GM cancels new DOHC V8 engine program.

OK, GM's new V-6s are teh awesome. So much so that they can boot the next generation V-8. Which makes us wonder about Acura. Sales were shite for 2007... So what are we getting at? There was all sorts of talk about Honda developing a new V-10 for the Acura line. We gotta wonder if that is still in the works.

Does anyone know if Honda is still working on a big engine for the Acura line?

Two Roads: GM Takes The One Often Traveled

We liked the contrast of these two articles (even though they weren't written to be contrasty or anything):

AutoWeek reports: 2008 GMC Yukon hybrid: Welcome, alien.

The Detroit News reports: Subcompact sales boom.

So in one article we have GM making a big ol' SUV use less fuel and the other we see how, for non-US makers, subcompact sales are booming.

We wonder which strategy will work.

GMC Yukon hybrid: $50k, 21 city/22 highway (2WD)
Subcompacts: $13k+ over 30mpg in every scenario

Speaking of subcompacts, we find it interesting that Nissan seems to be the sales leader with the Versa, yet it takes 69* days to sell one compared to just 22 days for the Honda Fit. According to the article, Honda would sell more if it could make more -- you'd think Honda would make it a priority. Oh, it's also interesting that Honda claims the Fit is not eating into the sales of the Civic. We have to bet that one of Honda's models is suffering (since Honda's sales aren't up that much -- 4.6% for 2007). Wow, the Element is off by 33% this year? Sounds like Honda's gonna have to move them suckas off the lot right quick -- deal time! Sorry this turned into a Honda post.

Anyway, it's interesting to us that GM is pushing a huge hybrid SUV (for $50k!) and many others are doing well with subcompacts.

*Alison, call us.

CAFE? No CAFE?

Man, this fuel economy crap is confusing the hell out of us. And U.S "President" Bush is going to veto it anyway, so what's point? Here are the latest articles:

The Detroit News reports House OKs 35 mpg rule.

AutoWeek reports Big CAFE hike stalls--for now--in Senate.

AutoWeek reports Lutz says 35-mpg CAFE will scuttle GM product plans.

OK, it passed the House, stalled in the Senate and despite the "Automakers, in a historic about-face, support the higher CAFE standards." (from the "Senate" article above), GM VP Bob Lutz says that new standard will mess up GM's future gas guzzlin' machines.

Clearly the Unions are at fault here. Damned unions.

It's pretty insane that we'll have to wait until 2020 to get vehicles with decent mileage. By then the sweet Honda Clarity FCX will be rockin' out everywhere and it won't matter, but the point is that we should be far ahead in terms of fuel efficiency. It's a shame that horsepower and top speed are more important than lowering pollution and lessening our dependence on foreign oil. You'd think some egg-head engineer would get a kick out of the challenge of combining power with fuel efficiency...

Imagine, them walking down the street and bumping into each other: "You got your fuel efficiency in my high horsepower engine!" "No, you got your high horsepower engine in my fuel efficiency!" Hilarity ensues and we all fly up to Heaven to be with Jaysus.

Can you imagine if these two were the egghead engineers? It'd be like: "We have a crotch explosion in sector two! Of the sexiest kind!" Also, Alison.

MaliEatItBitchSaysGM

Autoblog reports: GM exceeds Malibu sales expections in the first month by, oh, 2,500 cars.

We were pretty sure, based on the images we saw of the Malibu, that it was going to be a winner. We're not 100% sure long-term, however, since we thought the Aura was going to do a lot better than it appears to be doing. Also, the previous Malibu was soooo snore-city that the '08 was surely ready for some shopper love.

We did find this article Malibu delivers (as promised) a bit odd with the

Nothing is more boring for a newspaper than a company actually doing what it said it would do.

General Motors Corp. promised the world it was going to make a fantastic midsize sedan. We scoffed.

The company said this car would have a world-class interior. The press snickered, while toying with different headlines: "Malibu busts" or "Mali-Snooze."

We were wrong.

What's a newspaper? Who is reading them? Oh, no one.

Anyway, congrats to GM on successful launch of the Malibu. Even though it's only one month. And reliability is still an unknown. And Alison won't return our calls.

And You're Ugly, Too

Can the domestic auto news get any crappier? Check these out -- and this is just within the last few days!

The Detroit News reports GM takes $39B charge in quarter.

The New York Times reports: Ford Warns of New Steps if Sales Decline.

AutoWeek reports: Chrysler cuts four models, five shifts.

What could be worse? Well, maybe if the competition was kicking arse that would be an issue. Let's just (shuffles the pages of the internets) see what we have here. Oh, crap. The Detroit Fress Press reports: Toyota reports record income.

The only way it could get worse (for us, you see) is if we read our court-delivered restraining order. There's no way Alison said that about us. And she too does like husky, bald dudes. With bad eyesight. And weak bladders.

She's smiling because she's thinking of the Cars! Cars! Cars! editorial staff.