Cars! Cars! Cars!

Five For Ford

Martin Schwoerer of The Truth About Cars writes up the 2008 Ford Mondeo Ghia Review.

Whoa! Five stars, baby!

For me, a handsome car needs three basic characteristics: strength, cleanliness and character. The Mondeo nails all three. The four-door Ford's long wheelbase (much longer than, for example, the Passat) accentuates its wide, muscular stance. Its sleek headlamps and taut taillights render it instantly recognizable; the detailing is flawless. It's just what America needs: a non-bland, better-proportioned, more modern Taurus.

Yay! He goes on:

Using the standard light-action six-speed manual, I never ran out of gears. No matter how hard I thrashed the powerplant, I never saw less than 29 mpg. At a more sedate pace, I averaged 35 mpg.

Double yay! Oh, Ford, bring the Mondeo over here. It's what we need. It's what Summer needs.

Accord: 1, Others: Less Than 1

Well, Edmunds tested the family sedans (they missed the Altima, which is a little odd to us) and proclaim the all-new '08 Accord as the one that rules them all.

Edmunds reports: Revitalized Malibu Takes on Accord and Camry.

Surprisingly, the Camry came in third. Or is it surprising a Chevy beat a Toyota? In any event, neither of them were better than the Accord, so arguing who comes next is like (something funny here and make sure to link to Alison Krauss 'cause she's so purty).

We're still disappointed that cars seem to be getting bigger and bigger. The EPA's designation that the Accord is now a large car is a testiment to even green Honda getting sucked up in the bigger is better game. It's hard to argue, however, since the car, according to Edmunds, is still the best family sedan. Shame on Honda, however, since during the test Edmunds only saw 20 mpg from the 4-cylinder engine in the Accord.

That's a snap of the winner: 2008 Honda Accord LX-P.

Oh My Neck!

Edmunds" reports: 2007 Honda Fit Sport: The Highway Man. Here's a bit about the Honda Fit from an Edmunds staffer

Thirdly, the Honda Fit's seats are apparently lightly upholstered marble benches. Seriously, I have never been in a car that gave me as much seat related discomfort.

This brings up a good point about test drives: How can you tell if the seat is going to bother the hell out of you?

We had tested a few Ford Focuseseses and knew immediately we could never buy the thing -- it hurt to drive. Oh, it handled well and the seats were decent, but the accelerator just didn't mesh with our leg and foot combo. Pain!

When you go to test a car, you are usually limited to a certain amount of time and, while not expressly said, miles. So how can you test a car to see if it will really work for you? How can you tell if a seat is made of "upholstered marble" if you can't take it on a five hour trip yourself?

Anyone have any tips to share?

Oh we snagged that photo but good! It's from Thenys' group of snaps. We win!

Best Comparo Ever

Edmunds reports: Comparison Test: 1984 Ferrari 308 GTSi vs. 2007 Kia Sedona EX.

This is the ideal set up for our life. A Ferrari and a minivan. During the day we could be jolly, "what a caring father" dude toting the young'uns around to school and music class. At night, we could be Magnum. In fact, we're often stopped on the street for autographs with the "Hey, aren't you Tom Selleck? You know, if his career hadn't taken off. And he got shot in the knees. And if he, for safety purposes you see, stored 35 pounds of Chocodiles and Suzi-Qs around his middle area... which now ranges from just under the chin to just above where the knees used to be." "Aw, shucks" we say, "How do you spell your name, darlin'? And hand us that tub of Yodel squeezins."

Much thanks to Edmunds for allowing us to use our Ferrari category. Yay Ferrari. Right, right. Two r's and then one r. Got it. Sheesh.

NYT Heaps Love On Civic

The New York Times reports: A Civics Lesson With a Multiple-Choice Test. The old gray lady does a triple play testing all three versions of the Honda Civic at once. The verdict?

Well, first, we need to be upfront about something. We really, really like the Civic. It's a looker of a little car, the base car gets 40 mpg on the highway, and you can get it a variety of ways (as the article states). We're as pro Honda Civic as you can get without owning shares of the company. Or having one. Or driving one. Or licking one. OK, we've done one of those three things.

Anyway, The NYT says to buy the regular Civic (aka not the hybrid and not the natural gas one). Why? It's just mo betta.

We find it very odd that the Civic GX (natural gas dealie) does not come with navigation at all since, you know, it's hard to find natural gas filling stations and that navigation might come in handy in this particular car. Weak. By the way, that's yo'd-up Honda Civic. The regular EX is purty, too.

Buy A CR-V

The Detroit News reports: New CR-V solid but falls short. If we've learned anything, it's do the opposite of what this pair says to do.

The new CR-V is a good looking vehicle, remains the right size and has a decent fuel economy. This pair doesn't seem to understand Honda when they state, "There are some slight improvements, but overall it's not a huge leap forward." Honda never does a huge leap forward. They refine, refine, refine until the thing is near perfect and when you line it up to the competition it looks like Honda is years ahead of the others.

Also, to state "We tested a front-wheel-drive 2007 CR-V EX with no options and a bottom line of $23,445" somehow infers that the CR-V is over-priced and under equipped. But check it out for yourself to see if the 2007 Honda CR-V EX comes under equipped.

We don't even want a CR-V. At all. We tested one and while it was pretty good, it was totally not for us. Aargh, now we're all mad. Why do we even read that column?

Miata Still Rocks!

Edmunds reports: Hakuna Miata. Check it

Last week I drove our long-term Pontiac Solstice, which has now been sold. Since my grandmother told me that if I can't say anything nice about something, don't say anything at all, I will simply sing the praises of its competitor, the absolutely exquisite Mazda Miata.

It's one thing to praise the Miata (so many do), but it's another to refuse to talk about the Solstice.

We find this comment to be interesting since the Solstice/Sky has no passed the Miata as the number one roadster in the U.S. Has anyone out there owned/driven/licked both? Any winner?

That's a snap of the 2007 Mazda Miata. We'd buy one, boy howdy.

Ford Edge Is OK?

We hate to crap on Ford if they're doing something right, so maybe the Ford Edge will be decent after all. Kicking Tires reports: 2007 Ford Edge: First Look.

No, we're not backsliding: The interior is still crappier than the exterior. What do we mean? Feel the stuff. Sit in it. A Camry costing $8K less will feel better. Sure, the Camry isn't as utilitarian or versatile, but if you aren't using the Edge for that (and no one will be using it for that all of the time), you'll be a bit disappointed.

It's the same reason folks are crapping on the Five Hundred. We find the Five Hundred to a handsome car. And one that doesn't need to be shuttled off to the rental world—IF Ford would spend some time and money refining it.

There are two things Detroit still has to learn (probably more, but our statistical team—the coffee—arrived late today):

1. Don't cheapen the parts we touch and use every day.
2. Your current product can be made better.

The Japanese manufacturers understand this, and that's why the Camry feels better at a lower price and why the Camry gets better every year. Hell, it's a decent looker now—we'da never looked at the thing before, but now it's got itself some style.

Neil Triumphs Caliber

The Detroit News reports: The Dodge Caliber: New and unimproved. Talk about poopin' on! Dan Neil throws a pie at the Dodge Caliber:

The Neon bolted from a cold-dead stop to 60 mph in a wig-twisting six seconds; the Caliber R/T leaves the line, stops off for lunch and a high colonic, checks its e-mail, then finally arrives at 60 mph in a stupendously boring 10-plus seconds, which means it can be dusted by your average UPS truck.

Mr. Neil likes the look of the Caliber (so do we), but feels it's not ready. He says:

The Caliber is new. All that remains is for it to be improved.

He sounds pretty much like what we wrote after the 2006 NY Auto Show:

New for this show was the Dodge Caliber, a small wagon. It felt pretty cheap to us, but at $15k, maybe we were setting our expectations too high. The seats didn't feel very comfortable, either. Our main concern was that the subcompacts from the big three Japanese makers felt better put together.

Anyway, the Caliber needs some massaging. Hell, so do we. Oh, Alison! Time for the daily Cars! Cars! Cars! rubdown. Oh, stop the retching already.

Classy

The Detroit News reports: Take a ride to fantasy land. Why is it that when reviewers review a car, they use it the wrong way? You don't drive a Rolls-Royce Phantom. You are driven. You don't sit in the front seat. You sit on the bench in the back and bury your feet in the carpeting. You don't comment on the 0–60 time, you sit back and figure out which dignitary you're meeting with next. You don't complain about the poor gas mileage (12 city/19 highway... better than a Hummer and no worse, really, than a Cadillac Escalade). The tank is always full because it's someone's job to make sure that happens.

We think Rolls-Royce lets car reviewers review these even though no one reading one will ever be like, "Oh, right, the Phantom. Honey! Let's trade in the Taurus for a Phantom!" Like Rolls-Royce will ever sell to a prole.