Cars! Cars! Cars!

More MPG And More DPM

As in, you get more miles per gallon, but also more dead per mile. Here's the brilliant logic, debunked: Norquist: 'More People Will Die' Because Bush Raised CAFE Standards.

Initial 2008 NY Auto Show Car Notes

One: Chrysler's boss Bob Nardelli gave a speech that was so uninspirational that we plotzed. We're fairly certain that if Mr. Nardelli's M.O. is to read a boring teleprompter to inspire anything... well, Chrysler is screwed. On the flip side, they didn't release a car/truck. Caruck!

Two: Acura. Ack-ya-ruh. Not Ackra. The dude who introduced the new Acura TSX sounded exactly like Hank Hill. To hear it better in your head, think of the way Hank Hill says "video game." As in, "Dang it, Bobby. Put away your vidya game!" Heh, Bobby Hill. Oh, we dislike the way the new 2009 TSX looks. Too bad. The previous version was sweet!

Some other stuff happened at the car show, but we forgot most of it once the hot blondes drove cars the way you see on Cops. But inside. With explosions. We're not making any of that up.

Name That Loser!

Yeah, so it's 100% true. Pontiac introduced the G8 truck! Yeah, a truck. But with the front of a G8. How awesome is that?

The world has been yearning for a car truck since the dawn of time. And even though Subaru sold one recently and discontinued it because of very, very poor sales, Pontiac thinks you'll want one. Only bigger. That uses more fuel.

Bigger AND uses more fuel. That's what Pontiac thinks.

But what's it's name? Well, Pontiac doesn't know. But they know you want one! And they know you want to name it.

So, go to Tame the Name and enter your idea there. That's right, be a naming ninja! <--Honestly, their words!

Come on! How long before this turkey is canned?

Off To Auto Show

We're off to the NY Auto Show dealie. Will we have any new insights? Will it be Summer soon? Will we be wearing pants? (Hint: Two answers are "no" and one is, sadly, "yes.")

Until we offer up our pearls of wisdom, feel free to read over our previous NY Auto Show thoughts.

Cars! Cars! Cars! Parking Lot

When a writer begins to stray from the topic:
Today on Mother Proof: 2008 Audi A8 Reviewed. Hey, we're not throwing stones, we do it, too, but we expected more from Mother Proof. If you are dropping this kind of coin on a car, the kids ride with the nanny.

Aw, hell, damn, fart! Next-Gen Acura RL to get a V8 and RWD-biased SH-AWD. Is nothing sacred anymore? What made Acura special is that they didn't fall into the whole V8 movement. And it could have proved pretty dang smart as fuel begins its creep up to $5 by June '09. And this thing'll probably need premium. How the hell you gonna swing your double freakin' mocha latte?

Frakkin' yay! Lincoln likely to kill LT truck. Now to get Cadillac to drop the horrific EXT and we'll be on to something (sales are down 35% anyway... just drop it!)

Oh, as if this wasn't predicted a couple of years ago! (Ha! Get it? We called this sukka years ago when sales were even better than a paltry 2.25 a week or whatever the hell it is) Daimler Mulls Closing the Doors on Maybach. Why did the Maybach fail? Because it was brought over as a first-class passenger on the Queen Elizabeth II? No, despite the grand entrance, the car has no presence. So much so that decent design (again, no presence but a decent design) and moved it to Mercedes' S-Class. Boom! Maybach without the cos... Hell, S-Class is more than we can swing unless we get into Summer. Summer has presence.

Sunday Morning Revenue Drop

Protecting the public our arse! It's more like protecting the city's moolah intake.

That's right, Dallas is considering killing its "red light" camera program because it's not generating enough money. So these cameras aren't put into place to protect us and stop folks from running red lights. It's to force folks to pay when they run through the red lights -- the stopping of such behavior isn't important.

Actually, it's very important because the cameras have stopped folks from running red lights so the city can't afford the cameras. Tasty quote:

"The golden question is how many cameras do we need? We'll have to look at the numbers carefully," [Mayor Pro Tem] Dr. Garcia said. "But for me, this has always been about safety, has always been about awareness. We did not do this for the money."

Oh, it's about safety after all. Whew!

You know, it's not like we're totally unsympathetic to Dallas. Check out how much the cameras cost to maintain. Plus they have them cheerleaders!

Referenced articles:

Fark: Dallas' red light cameras may face changes as revenue estimate drops

Thanks to Engadget and Fark for the link. These guys are connected together like they're part of some web or sumthin!

Sunday Morning Review Roundup!

Man, we so want a rocket-powered New Beetle. That's a real people's car!

Referenced articles:

UberReview: The Strangest Vehicles In The World

1. Yeah, this is an old article. 2. Thanks to Gizmodo for the link, Gizmodo rocks!

April First Comes Early

That's right, folks. The El Camino is back and, no, it's not a joke. It's real!

We gotta seriously wonder what's in the water at GM. The CTS is dead on! The Malibu is finally a serious choice against Toyota. But the El Camino?

GM has to be aware of the storm that's brewing in the U.S.: recession and big-time inflation headed our way. Think this V-8 dealie is going to go lightly on gas? Think GM is going to sell more than 12? If you buy one of these, better save that stimulus check to put into the gas tank.

Referenced articles:
Jalopnik: 2010 Pontiac G8 Sport Truck: The El Camino Is Back!
WSJ: Rebate Checks: Straight to the Gas Tank?

Goin' Swimming!

Hey, everyone, plan yer vacations now. The mandatory one. That's right, two weeks off this summer!

And don't go spiffyin' up yer resumes!

Referenced articles:

CNNMoney.com: Chrysler takes vacation in July

Hate Wins!

Hate has prevailed over Ford. After calling on a boycott because Ford advertises in gay media.

Why would the AFA want gay folk to buy anything other than American products? Oh, because the AFA is a hate group.

Anyway, the AFA has decided it has defeated Ford so its boycott is ending. We bet the real reason is that the AFA wants to get in on some good Ford deals rigth about now. Pssst: Buy a Fusion.

Referenced articles:

Americablog.com: Religious right drops Ford boycott, claiming victory 2 years after they lost