Cars! Cars! Cars!

Lobbying Money

The Detroit Free Press reports: Pressure on GM goes up as talks drag on.

We hope to hell that GM is pressuring the U.S. government for universal health care because it's the only way to make these kinds of talks go smoother. In fact, we believe that if the U.S. had universal health care that the country would be even more productive and more innovative because by not having to work at a job that isn't truly a labor of love means one can focus on something that matters to them. And if you don't think cars matter to millions of people, well, boy howdy you got something wrong.

Anyway, GM, shoot some money over to congress and say "Get us universal health care, meng!"

For the record, we don't mean Ms. Clinton's health care plan. We haven't read up on it, so for all we know it's universal health care for cats. Heck, it's obvious that in 150 years people will look back on this time and say, "You didn't take care of each other back then?" In other words, they'll look back the way we currently look back on doctors who didn't wash their hands as they went from patient to patient. Gosh, that was way off topic.

Toyota Offers Up Land Crusier With Godzilla-Like Pricing

AutoWeek reports: 2008 Toyota Land Cruiser Pricing Announced". Holy crow!

Price: $64,000
Engine: 5.7l, V-8
Power: 381hp
Fuel economy: Shh....

$64k for a Toyota? That's a ton of dukets. As in, you'll need an SUV to carry the cash to the dealer. See, GM? If you make good products, you can charge up the wazoo. We mentioned that in a very odd rant some time ago (hell if we can find it now, though). When we see GM and the rest of Detroit starting to raise prices then maybe we'll think they really believe they are making a better product (the longer warranties are just to get folks back into the showroom).

Nissan Needs A Fun Car

Winding Road reports: Japan Report: Nissan Considering Options for Next Sports-Car. We had high hopes for the 350z when it was announced a few years back. But now those hopes have been dashed by higher-than-we-like prices and sort of a fat body.

We remember the 240 SX fondly and would love to see that beast make another appearance. Nissan, make the 240 SX and make everything the 350z was supposed to be: affordable (<$25k), light (<3,000 pounds) and quick (0-60 in <7 seconds). But before all of that, make it fun.

What If A Company Is For Sale And No One Buys It?

The Detroit News reports: Ford gives luxury bids more time. Here's the background: Ford is hurtin' so it's selling some of it's fancy brands. In this case: Jaguar and Land Rover. Ford gave prospective owners unti the end of September, but now have given them even more time. Why is that?

No reason was given, but the source said bidders assume the move is designed to give them more time to secure financing in today's tight credit markets.

We wonder, however, if bids are going to be hard to come by. What if folks don't want the problems of Jaguar and Land Rover?

What happens then?

Ford already sold Aston Martin. Just so you are up on everything.

OK, We'd Consider Buying This If It Were American

Edmunds reports: Frankfurt Auto Show: Sell It as a Mazda 6. Sell It as a Ford Mondeo. Just Bring It to the U.S.! We couldn't agree more, Edmunds. We couldn't agree more. Take a look at that Ford Mondeo and tell us it isn't a beautiful car. Not as beautiful as if Alison Krauss was made into a car, but it's still... Oh, Alison. She's so purty.

Buy American!

Jalopnik reports: Think the Domestics Suck? Your Numbers Are Down. Oh, please. Look, Even if American cars are as good as imports... hell, let's say they are. Here we go: A Ford Taurus (hey, not our fault if Ford changes the name of the car again before we get done writing this) is as good as a Toyota Camry.

In the past, Fords have let generations of folks down, while the Camrys haven't. At least not in the same way. So, Ms. Consumer, which would you rather buy? A car from a company that, for 20+ years built crappola cars, or a car from a company that built good cars into great cars?

Thanks to a commenter on Jalopnik, we see Robert Farago covered this nicely. Tis true, English. Thou shall reap what thou has sowest."

Volvo: Hells No!

Bloomberg reports: Volvo AB Says Not Interested in Ford's Volvo Car Unit. The AB stands for "Ain't no B'way we're buying back that turd." OK, what they really said was

"We are of course very concerned and interested in what happens with Volvo cars, but not such that we would be an investor there," Johansson said today in an interview in Brussels.

In other words, "Of course we loves you baby, but I gotta go outta town for a couple of weeks. We'll call when we're back."

Buy American! Regardless Of What It Does To Environment!

The Detroit Free Press reports: Buy Hondas? Mich. legislators slam tip by U.S. official to buy foreign. Check this out, it's so awesome!

Here's some advice to the federal agency that helps children and the elderly, protects the food supply and prevents disease:

Stay out of the auto business. Especially if you're trying to promote foreign car sales.

On Tuesday, the members of Michigan's congressional delegation signed a letter to Health and Human Services Secretary Michael Leavitt telling him an August newsletter on energy-saving tips was way out of line, encouraging as it did the agency's 67,000 employees to choose international vehicles over domestic.

See the deal is that there was a list of 12 vehicles that got great gas mileage so the H&H dude wrote (we're paraphrasing) "consider those vehicles if you want to use less energy." But then some folks (and Detroit) got all up in arms.

"It just blows my mind," said Rep. Joe Knollenberg, a Bloomfield Township Republican. "Why would they think of doing that?"

This is the most awesomest thing we've read in a long time. Oh Mr. Joe Knollenberg, a Bloomfield Township Republican, you crack us the hell up.

Meanwhile, imports from China are up 10 trillion percent and more and more jobs are moving offshores. But buy American, you America hater you. Halliburton? Moved to Dubai. But, you apple pie hater, buy a Ford. Even if it's made in Canada. Or Mexico. Buy it. And run over a union member on your way out of the sales lot.

In a quote we just made up, Mr. Knollenberg to "stop helping children, stop helping the elderly, stop protecting the food supply and stop preventing disease."

You know, Detroit could have turned this around in a very positive way by sending out their own press release thanking H&H for their concern over the environment and that "we too care about the environment which is why we make the following cars with the following gas mileage" (and then listed their decent(ish) cars). They could have even bought some ad spaces in newspapers saying the same thing (in order to really reach more consumers. But, no, everyone took a shit on the main message. And then went back to making shitty Avengers, weak Edges and crappy Grand Prixs. Yay, Detroit.

Best Comparo Ever

Edmunds reports: Comparison Test: 1984 Ferrari 308 GTSi vs. 2007 Kia Sedona EX.

This is the ideal set up for our life. A Ferrari and a minivan. During the day we could be jolly, "what a caring father" dude toting the young'uns around to school and music class. At night, we could be Magnum. In fact, we're often stopped on the street for autographs with the "Hey, aren't you Tom Selleck? You know, if his career hadn't taken off. And he got shot in the knees. And if he, for safety purposes you see, stored 35 pounds of Chocodiles and Suzi-Qs around his middle area... which now ranges from just under the chin to just above where the knees used to be." "Aw, shucks" we say, "How do you spell your name, darlin'? And hand us that tub of Yodel squeezins."

Much thanks to Edmunds for allowing us to use our Ferrari category. Yay Ferrari. Right, right. Two r's and then one r. Got it. Sheesh.

Best Act Of God Ever

Autoblog reports: Tornado destroys Vegas. Now that's how to take care of some bidness. We couldn't destroy 'em in high school, so props to the big man for showin' 'em how it's done, old school.