Alison Krauss Rules Our Lives

As we're sure you've noticed by our lack of updates over the past few weeks, something's going on. "Where are the studs from Cars! Cars! Cars! lately? Those good-looking, and trustworthy, guys are my favorite car blog." And "I wonder if Alison Krauss, who is a single mom, knows that the editorial staff from Cars! Cars! Cars! is also single? Man, they'd make a great team. And C!C!C! would be a great dad." And "We would fake our own deaths to be with Alison Krauss." OK, that last one was us. Anyway, let's cut to the friggin' chase: We decided to shut down the site: Cars! Cars! Cars!

Why? Well, how about this: WE HAVE A DATE WITH ALISON KRAUSS LINED UP! Well, let's restate that. WE HAVE A DATE WITH ALISON KRAUSS'S LAWYERS! In a courtroom. It will be all formal-like. Finally, thanks the Gods, our work will be known by all!

In order to prove to the world that we're serious, moving forward, we're now a site about Alison Krauss (Krauss! Krauss! Krauss!). Please understand we don't take this lightly, as we've loved cars since, well, we saw that scene where what's her name takes off her bikini top in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. That was so friggin' hawt!

We tried linking to Alison, writing to Alison, and most recently, getting ourselves bailed out of jail because of Alison. (1. The door was open. 2. It totally wasn't our fault that the thing popped out and then touched the other thing that was attached to your arm. 3. We respectfully disagree that our interpretation of Shake the Sugar Tree was in poor taste; it was merely your typical naked interpretation.) But thankfully, this has all worked in our favor.

The entire editorial staff of Cars! Cars! Cars Krauss! Krauss! Krauss! thanks you for your years-long patronage, and we hope to see you at bluegrass festivals.

Feel free to start sending us bail money; we're totally gonna need it.

As if this wasn't written and sung for us. OK, a dude wrote it, but it's cause we slipped him a few fat spliffs. But it was totally sung for us. Saaaweet!

Here's when she came to NYC to woo us, but, sadly, we were in jail.

Here's another song she did about us.

So God's workin' his magic around the planet, and when God hears Alison singing, he, you know, stops what God's doing.

Oh, we're restless, baby. We're restless.

Don't be fooled. Alison Krauss is singing this for us.

Comments

[Alex]

I actually don't see it, Bob. There's way pertier ladyfolk aplenty out there. She kinda looks like a less delictable Catherine from CSI. In fact, I formally disagree with your freaky MILF crush!

[basictransportation Alex]

Bob, you're such a stoner, dude. I was all like whooa and then I was all like nah, Bob's just trippin. Rock on man! Good April fools - mine was not to blog anything - which is just as funny in a way!

[Joe aka BigFordFan]

No!No!No!, say it isn't so! Cars!Cars!Cars! can't be going!

Bob, I hope this is a late April Fools, I'm going to be very very sad if your blog goes dark.

Where else am I to go for the insight into the minds of Bill Ford and other Pinheads of Industry??

If it's true, and I'm still hoping it's not, then I personally want to thank you for everyting. And wish you luck with Kraus!Kraus!Kraus! I'm not so sure about helping with bail money, but I'll see what I can do.

[Jay]

Thank you for the Pam Tillis video post. Much appreciated!!!

[salguod]

Heh. Check the date, Angela.

[Angela]

Are you serious? How do you go from Cars to Krauss? Also, why were you in jail? Were you stalking Alison or something? I find this all very bizarre.