Sick, Honda, VW, GM

Oy Mummin!
Sorry about yesterday. We got smacked by this flu and it's pretty friggin' horrible! And now Mrs. Cars! Cars! Cars! is coming down with it so we're bummin' in the Cars! Cars! Cars! household. Uh, worldwide publishing headquarters.

Honda = WTF?!
Jalopnik reports: Honda Accord Hybrid Gets Price Increase, Mileage Decrease. Man, nothing good about this one. First, the Honda Accord Hybrid is lame-o. Like the Bingo song, but lamer. And instead of Bingo, it's the Honda Accord Hybrid. And it's lame. Honda totally FUBAR'd the Accord Hybrid, yet hit a homerun with the Civic. We don't get it.

Chrysler + Lame VW = New Minivan For VW
AutoWeek reports: VW's New Minivan: Engineered in the US. So much for that bitchin' lookin' Microbus. We were totally chubbed when we saw that (in pictures), but stupid reality always comes back to bother us. Few details have been released about this, but we assume it'll mostly be a Town and Country minivan. With them fancy Stow-n-Go seats.

SUVs AOK?
AutoWeek reports: GM's New Full-sized SUVs: So Far, So Good. This all seems a bit premature since the entire line isn't out yet, but indications that GM is going to sell a lot of its SUV line: Chevy Tahoe, GMC Yukon, Cadillac Escalade. We're all still waiting for the all-new line of honest-to-goodness cars, however. We hope these SUVs sell well because GM sure needs a does of good news.

Turn Left At The Hot Chick
The Detroit News reports: GM beefs up its Onstar package. Wow, more bit of good news from GM. GM is upgrading its OnStar navigation system all the way down to the "make the next left" kinda dealie. We think OnStar is pretty friggin' cool and we'd opt for it should we be duped into buying a GM product. Oh, we kid! We like the Chevy Malibu Maxx. It's ugly, but it makes so much sense...

Pssst! Want A Hundred Grand?
The Detroit News reports: Ford offers $100,000 buyouts. Man, these are some sweet friggin' deals if you are near retirement anyway. Crap, we'd take the 85% of pay deal, go home and wait for our full 30 years and then get the retirement money. In unrelated news, we'd like to schedule a meeting with Bill Ford and discuss why we only got a candy bar for our retirement.

Lincoln Is Schizophrenic
The Detroit News reports: Don't get used to Zephyr -- it's MK Z. This is very American corporation thinking: change the name and it'll be better! Ugh. No, it won't. First, you see, Lincoln just makes fancy a Ford Fusion and tries to sell it as a Lincoln (they did change the sheet metal... and we kinda like how it all looks). Second, it doesn't sell well. Third, rather than improve the product, they change the name -- just four months after selling the car as the Zephyr. Oh, the new MK Z will get a new, far better engine. Will the new name and engine help? We're not so sure.

Mazda To Save Ford's Bacon?
CNN/Money reports: Mazda to design Ford subcompact. Ford is finally gonna get a small car. And it'll be not designed by Ford -- woohoo! You know, the more we think about it, if Ford had brought over the European Focus to the states, made a few hybrid sedans (Focus, Fusion, Five Hundred), Ford might not be hurtin' so much. We think the whole "Buy American" crap would actually work, but American companies have to have the products to back it up. If someone wants a hybrid... can't do it from Ford. Anyway, we're glad Ford will have a small car... please, please, please don't look like the Festiva. Ugh.

Airbags Stop Killing
Leftlane News reports: Airbag safety reaches new high. An interesting milestone for airbags. Airbags killed no adults in 2005. Sad that that is a milestone, but it's true. And it's a good sign that car manufacturers are learning how to make them better and people are learning how to use a friggin' seat belt. People are stupid.

Comments?
Well, what the hell do you think? Comments are open below for you to spout your thoughts. Share them! Dammit! Share them! Don't make us make you drive a Lincoln Zephyr!

Comments

[Sarah McBride]

RE: SUVs AOK?

They'll got the news if they boost out the best from their wheels. GM proved it all along, and now? lets see... http://spaces.msn.com/sarahmcbride/

[Salman]

It seems the honda accord numbers were adjusted for real word driving conditions as oppose to 'vacuum' testing...that explains the reason for the drop in HP and MPG no?

[sterlingsilvers]

RE: Mazda To Save Ford's Bacon?

I don't get it. Ford says "our cars will say Hi I'm Bob American." So they have the Japanese design them? What?

[asker]

http://www.sacrednoise.com/chrome/

did anyone see this on the super bowl?