The NY Times (registration required) reports: U.S. Automakers See Sales Drop in 2005. Well, we all knew that was the case. We're pretty danged surprised that the drops weren't bigger. Sales from domestic makers ended, likewise, on a crappy note: GM's December sales were down 10 percent, Ford fell 8.7 percent and Chrysler was down 5 percent as payback from strong summer sales continued. For the record, we don't consider Chrysler to be domestic any longer, but the Times does and they print all the news, you know, that's fit to print. Wrong or not. Which is our motto, too. Go Times! We did get a kick out of this:
There were some bright spots. Chevrolet was the best-selling brand in the U.S. market in 2005, outpacing Ford for the first time in 19 years, GM said Wednesday."Bright spot my arse!" says Bill Ford. We agree with Bill Ford.... How is Chevy trumping Ford a bright spot for anyone but Chevy? And for the dude at Chevy who gets a fat bonus to spend primarily on hookers? In unrelated news, we'd like to congratulate the head dude at Chevy for doing a great job. And that we're available to help him spend his bonus. We like blondes. And brunettes. Girls. Pretty much any girls. Crap, we're so desperate we'll take Maude.
Same As Above, But With Graphics
The Detroit News reports: GM, Ford lose more ground. We were gonna lump this in with the piece above, but this piece had pretty graphics and we're a sucker for graphics. Anyway, what struck us was that Ford was still selling the Taurus. We weren't aware of that. And that, dear readers, is a prime example of why Ford blows. Oh sure, they have a few decent models out there, but to still be selling the Taurus long after rigor mortis has set in is just wrong. What's most depressing is that Ford sold more Tauruses than Fusions. Oy! Yes, we understand the Taurus was sold all year long and the Fusion wasn't. But still. Oy!
GM Celebrates Number One Spot By Firing 500 Employees
And not the crappy kind of employees like we'd be. Important ones! The Detroit News reports: GM fires 500 engineers. Although based on GM's products as of late, maybe they are crappy employees. Like us. We'd be bad employees by making Azteks and Cavaliers.
CNN/Money reports: Automakers cut back on sweet deals. These friggin' articles are confusing as hell. If you look at the numbers one way, they say A. Another way, they say B. If you look at our site, we're a blog that writes about cars and the car industry. Another way, we're a sarcastic, sexist blog that's written while wearing only underwear. But the real question then is, what are you wearing while you read this? Huh, Claire? What are you wearing? You vixen!